The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Honestly, I agree that the media should include more
stories
Use synonyms
which report good news as
storie
Correct your spelling
a story
is a very good way to help the children
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
their useful knowledge.
However
Linking Words
, that way still not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast enough to let the kids learn good news since the
mobiphone
Correct your spelling
mobile-phone
,
laptop
Correct word choice
and laptop
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
widely all over the world,
although
Linking Words
it wasn’t good for
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
and
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
, especially
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
will be not good if we spend hours of watching some social media, Youtube, Facebook, Tiktok, …
for instance
Linking Words
. Generally. I suggest that
stories
Use synonyms
should be populated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide. In the past,
stories
Use synonyms
had been known by people approximately 20 years ago but it was slowly forgotten nowadays. Individually, I think
stories
Use synonyms
made a lot of important things
such
Linking Words
as it
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
how to read and write. Since it was invented, everyone has read it
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Stories
Use synonyms
should be more in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media for the reason that
stories
Use synonyms
will be useful when we
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
is not good
Verb problem
,
show examples
and I think we should make those awesome
stories
Use synonyms
more popular as in the future,
stories
Use synonyms
may not appear
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
place
anymor
Correct your spelling
anymore
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
stories
Use synonyms
are slowly
disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappearing
show examples
so I want to own these things as much as I can. After all,
stories
Use synonyms
make me realize that they are very important, it makes me get higher
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in literature, I appreciate that
stories
Use synonyms
are in
this
Linking Words
life.
Submitted by ngovhngoc on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion, which would help to present your argument more effectively and to summarize it at the end. This structure keeps your ideas organized and makes your standpoint clear to the reader.
Support of Main Ideas
Try to develop and support your main points more fully. Including more detailed explanations and linking them directly to the question can make your argument stronger and more persuasive. This development gives depth to your essay and engages the reader more effectively.
Task Response
A greater focus on the task statement would enhance your response. The original question was about the inclusion of more good news stories in the media. It seems your essay drifted somewhat into discussing the value of stories in general without directly relating back to the media's role in reporting good news.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This will help your essay flow more naturally and make your points more coherent to the reader.
Individual Point of View
You express a unique perspective on the importance of stories in our lives, highlighting their educational and cultural significance.
Relevance to Prompt
You correctly identify the importance of good content in media and its impact on learning and literacy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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