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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #school #children #uniforms #policy
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, numerous nations made it compulsory to wear a
dress
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 code at learning institutions.Many people are opposing
this
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 policy.
However
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, I reckon that its pros are more as compared to its cons. To commence with, at
a
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an
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 alma- mater a student encountered
with
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apply
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other Students of various economic
as well as
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 cultural backgrounds. In
such
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 a situation, wearing alike
dress
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 never gives an opportunity
to
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apply
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him to think about any cultural and economic differences. Apart from that, children can deal with love, patience, and brotherhood with each other regardless of giving importance to the colour and brand adopted by another child.
Moreover
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,
School
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 uniforms help other people recognize that these kids belong to
this
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school
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 because many centres of learning choose their own logo and colour that
specifies
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specify
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 their
School
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.
As a result
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, one can notice a kid with a
dress
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 code outside
School
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 premises. On the flip side, sometimes economic conditions become
a
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the
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 biggest problem for parents to buy a
school
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 uniform because
school
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 uniforms are always expensive as they are made by specific companies and available at some stores only.
Furthermore
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, wearing a uniform cuts down the civil liberties of students to wear a
dress
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 which makes them feel comfortable. On weighing up all the considerations it can be asserted that the benefits of wearing an educational
centres
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centre's
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dress
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 code are more as it promotes quality and security among students.
Submitted by bawanpreet070 on

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task achievement
Ensure to fully address all parts of the task. The essay did well in presenting both sides of the argument but could delve deeper into the disadvantages of school uniforms for a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
To improve clarity and argument strength, introduce more specific examples and evidence when discussing advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay is logically organized. Use clear paragraphs to structure your essay - one main idea per paragraph - and use connecting words to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. Use a mix of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate your language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Revisit your conclusion to ensure it clearly summarizes your main points and reflects back on your introduction. This strengthens your argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mandatory
  • Disparities
  • Fostering
  • Belonging
  • Simplifies
  • Self-expression
  • Individuality
  • Entail
  • Additional costs
  • Uniformity
  • Bullying
  • Discrimination
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