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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the US from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparions where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the US from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparions where relevant.
#percentage #households #kinds #technology #information #feature #comparions
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The given line graph compares the ratio of five different kinds of technology including washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
computer
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computers
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, internet,
phone
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phones
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 and DVD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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 that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 used by American people in their
home
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homes
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 during the years 1995 to 1999.
Overall
, it can
abviousley
Correct your spelling
obviously
see
Wrong verb form
seen
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 that despite DVD players, which
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
fall and rise experience during the first year, all gadgets follow
Correct article usage
a mor
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mor
Correct your spelling
more
 or less increasing pattern. Back to the details, washing machines were the most used appliances over the time reported in the graph by 60% of households at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 to 80 per cent
at the end
in
Change preposition
of
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 1999,
additionally
Change preposition
in additionally
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 to its upward trend. The next most applicable technology for Americans was computer devices which starting point of the line in 1995 shows 40% of usage that had
expereinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 an about 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 increase, approximately parallel to the washing machine line, before reaching the peak in 1999. The third
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
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 tech was
phone
Add an article
a phone
the phone
show examples
 with a sharper lift after 1996 to reach the popularity of two other preceding technology in 1999 by more than 60 % of domestic use. Internet and DVD players were used less as the the recorded values
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adoption rates
  • technological proliferation
  • year-on-year growth
  • digital divide
  • saturation point
  • laggard technology
  • consumer electronics
  • technological obsolescence
  • internet penetration
  • market dynamics
  • socioeconomic factors
  • innovation trajectory
  • connectivity infrastructure
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