Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such as education and health ? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Unfortunatelly
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
some countries have a poor environment or
economically
Add a missing verb
are economically
show examples
disadvantaged
whereas
some other nations acquire more than they even need. People who are conscious of the unequally between the nations are more inclined to accept the idea of sharing wealth.
This
essay will discuss why I completely agree with sharing wealth with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other nations.
Submitted by y2xhnc84j6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand your essay to include an introduction that more clearly states your position, at least two body paragraphs that provide specific arguments and examples, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and connectors to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'However' can help to connect your ideas more smoothly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: