IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
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The bar graph displays what
activities
Use synonyms
 the children both
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 want to participate
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
lerisure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, watering
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 or video is the most popular
Use synonyms
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
fro
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 all kids.
Except
Add the preposition
Except for
show examples
 Art and craft,
boys
Use synonyms
 tend to take part in the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 three remaining
activities
Use synonyms
 than
girls
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that all the children like to watch TV and video
while
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
100
Correct article usage
a 100
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 participation rate between
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
. Art and
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only
one
Replace the word
activity in
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
girls
Use synonyms
 is more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 approximately 60
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 and
boys
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only below 40
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. The remaining three
activities
Use synonyms
 including
skateboading
Correct your spelling
skateboarding
, bike riding and electronic computer games are popular among
boys
Use synonyms
. Around 80
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct your spelling
per cent of
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 take part in bike riding and computer games,
which
Correct word choice
while
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 are around 60
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. Skateboarding is the less popular activity for
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
, with almost 40 and more 20
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 participation.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activities
  • favored
  • noteworthy trends
  • disparities
  • participating
  • popularity
  • demographics
  • speculating
  • surprising findings
  • technological advancements
  • societal changes
  • promotional efforts
  • educational planning
  • balanced lifestyle
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