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Band 5.5

The table below shows how young people in Tokyo, Japan, listen to music over the previous month. the pie chart shows a record company international finding about whether people preferred live or recorded music. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relavant.

The table below shows how young people in Tokyo, Japan, listen to music over the previous month. the pie chart shows a record company international finding about whether people preferred live or recorded music. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relavant.
The given table illustrates the methods of how youngsters in Tokyo, Japan, listened to
music
Use synonyms
 over the
last
Linking Words
 month, and the pie chart depicts the international findings of a record company in
related
Replace the word
relation
show examples
 to the
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
 preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 live or recorded
music
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Japanees
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 teens
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
listen
Change the verb form
listened
show examples
 the
music
Use synonyms
 via four different methods ,
such
Linking Words
 as live
music
Use synonyms
,
mp3
Correct your spelling
MP3
show examples
players
Use synonyms
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and CDs ,and with
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 usage of MP3
players
Use synonyms
 to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
music
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, international findings
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 revealed
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 live
music
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the most
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 method to listen
music
Use synonyms
.Other than that, the table
reveled
Correct your spelling
revealed
show examples
 a drastic difference between males and females
how
Change preposition
in how
show examples
 they listen to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
. In detail,
Japanees
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 males
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 MP3
players
Use synonyms
 to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 79% of the
time
Use synonyms
 and they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Change the verb form
listened
show examples
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 live
music
Use synonyms
 only 60% of the
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, females only 40% of the
time
Use synonyms
 used
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
MP3
players
Use synonyms
 and they
tried
Add the particle
tried to
show examples
 live
music
Use synonyms
 over 44% of the
time
Use synonyms
, Admitttedly, both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 used CDs
leaste
Correct your spelling
least
 to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
music
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 international
findings
Add a comma
findings,
show examples
 70% of individuals
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recorded
music
Use synonyms
 and only 26 % of them selected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recorded
music
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, mp, players, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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