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Band 5

Some pople think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. Others, believe that there are good reasons of having Zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#pople #animals #zoos
To begin
, most individuals think that wild creatures should not be kept in
zoos
on the other hand
, others suggest that there are some good facts for keeping them in
zoos
. There are some pros and cons regarding
this
 I will discuss
this
 in the upcoming paragraphs.
However
, wild
animals
 like to live in forests where they hunt and complete their needs
according to
 food chains but when these creatures are in the zoo the space is not enough for them, and they feel congested.
Although
,
zoos
 are attraction points for the people and
also
 provide money to the Zoological parks.
For instance
, to fulfill their food needs sometimes
animals
 like lions go to city areas and sometimes hurt people life's it is cleared by the news articles in recent years.
Nevertheless
, some species are lost of
animals
 and some are extinct so to preserve these species Zoological parks and
zoos
 are mandatory.
In addition
,
zoos
 provide a habitat and fulfil the needs of
animals
.
Moreover
, climate changes
also
 affect the animal lives.
For example
, government funding to
zoos
 to preserve the species and provide an appropriate environment for them. In conclusion, many individuals have faith that
animals
 have to live free from cages and others believe that
zoos
 have some benefits. In my opinion, by providing appropriate weather and proper nutrition
zoos
 are beneficial for wild
animals
.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, at least two body paragraphs (one discussing each view), and a conclusion. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, but do so in a way that doesn’t feel forced or overwhelming.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your own opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to ensure the task is completed fully.
task achievement
Develop your main points by including more specific examples and details. This will help to support your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation to improve readability and present your ideas more clearly.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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