The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last years. Discuss the causes and effect of this issue disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #years #effect #trend

Over the

last

year, the proportion of childhood obesity in

Add an article

the western

show examples

western

Capitalize word

Western

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country

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countries

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has risen

almost

Change preposition

by almost

show examples

percent

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per cent

show examples

. The main reasons are

influence

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the influence

an influence

show examples

of fast

food

and social media.

This

essay will discuss all

posible

Correct your spelling

possible

causes and aftereffects of

this

negative trend. The main cause of

this

problem is

influence

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the influence

show examples

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast food

fast-food

. That can make

children

gain

thier

Correct your spelling

their

weight

due to

pocket

food

easily accessible

with

Change preposition

show examples

very low

price

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prices

show examples

Moreover

, over the

year

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years

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

has been

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

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the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

number of

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast

restuarants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

For example

, most

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apply

show examples

junk

food

restuarants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

located near

school

areas and every high

streets

Change to a singular noun

street

show examples

such

as Pizza Hut or McDonald's.

Furthurmore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the

food

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

places has been proven to be very unhealthy.

As a result

, the amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

has increased

with in

Correct your spelling

within

show examples

one year. The effects of

this

solution

has

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have

show examples

been and will continue to be more serious.

Firstly

, junk foods can cause

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apply

show examples

diabetes, high blood pressure, and some heart disease in kid's health. Diabetes

disease has

Verb problem

means

show examples

mean child has to be injected

insulin

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with insulin

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and

suffered

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suffers

show examples

from chronic illness

also

very overweight

children

often experience bullying

from

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show examples

school

social

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, which might

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

mental health status and

school

performances

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

might

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

low self-esteem .

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

singapore's report found that

children

who

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

diabetes

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

shown

school

grade

Fix the agreement mistake

grades

show examples

droped

Correct your spelling

dropped

more than kids who good healthy. In conclusion, it is several

cause

Change to a plural noun

causes

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

cuase

Correct your spelling

cause

of overweight among

children

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of negative effects. Society must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

problem from deteriorating

further

Submitted by Nnansucha on Fri Mar 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and data where possible to strengthen your arguments.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both causes and effects in detail, ensuring your response is complete.

Task Achievement

Work on clarifying your ideas and arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.

Task Achievement

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health concern
sedentary behavior
high-calorie, low-nutrient
processed foods
physical activity
genetic predispositions
type 2 diabetes
cardiovascular diseases
psychological issues
low self-esteem
depression
social and economic effects
healthcare systems
life expectancy
academic performance
future productivity
public health campaigns
food industry practices
nutrition
lifestyle choices

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last years. Discuss the causes and effect of this issue disturbing trend.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?

In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.