The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last years. Discuss the causes and effect of this issue disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #years #effect #trend

Over the

last

year, the proportion of childhood obesity in

Add an article

the western

show examples

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

has risen

almost

Change preposition

by almost

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. The main reasons are

influence

Add an article

the influence

an influence

show examples

of fast

food

and social media.

This

essay will discuss all

posible

Correct your spelling

possible

causes and aftereffects of

this

negative trend. The main cause of

this

problem is

influence

Add an article

the influence

show examples

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast food

fast-food

. That can make

children

gain

thier

Correct your spelling

their

weight

due to

pocket

food

easily accessible

with

Change preposition

show examples

very low

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

Moreover

, over the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

has been

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

number of

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast

restuarants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

For example

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

junk

food

restuarants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

located near

school

areas and every high

streets

Change to a singular noun

street

show examples

such

as Pizza Hut or McDonald's.

Furthurmore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the

food

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

places has been proven to be very unhealthy.

As a result

, the amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

has increased

with in

Correct your spelling

within

show examples

one year. The effects of

this

solution

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been and will continue to be more serious.

Firstly

, junk foods can cause

Change preposition

apply

show examples

diabetes, high blood pressure, and some heart disease in kid's health. Diabetes

disease has

Verb problem

means

show examples

mean child has to be injected

insulin

Change preposition

with insulin

show examples

and

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffers

show examples

from chronic illness

also

very overweight

children

often experience bullying

from

Change preposition

show examples

school

social

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, which might

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

mental health status and

school

performances

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

might

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

low self-esteem .

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

singapore's report found that

children

who

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

diabetes

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

shown

school

grade

Fix the agreement mistake

grades

show examples

droped

Correct your spelling

dropped

more than kids who good healthy. In conclusion, it is several

cause

Change to a plural noun

causes

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

cuase

Correct your spelling

cause

of overweight among

children

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of negative effects. Society must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

problem from deteriorating

further

Submitted by Nnansucha on Fri Mar 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on improving the logical flow of your essay by organizing ideas clearly and creating smoother transitions between paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are more distinct and effectively summarize your essay’s main points and stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and data where possible to strengthen your arguments.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both causes and effects in detail, ensuring your response is complete.

Task Achievement

Work on clarifying your ideas and arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.

Task Achievement

Incorporate a variety of specific examples to support your points, which can help your essay to be more persuasive and comprehensive.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

public health concern
sedentary behavior
high-calorie, low-nutrient
processed foods
physical activity
genetic predispositions
type 2 diabetes
cardiovascular diseases
psychological issues
low self-esteem
depression
social and economic effects
healthcare systems
life expectancy
academic performance
future productivity
public health campaigns
food industry practices
nutrition
lifestyle choices

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this competitive world the majority of authorities think that economic development is their priority aim. And some individuals believe that certain types of evolving are vitally important such as education and traffic management. In my standpoint, I strongly think that the country's schooling revolution and transport administration is samely necessary to achieve the nation’s goal rather than just setting economic progress as a sole target.
6.5
band
Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?
It is inevitable that modern households will produce some waste, but the increasing amounts of refuse over recent years present a challenge for us all. There seem to be two main problems stemming from this situation, and also two steps we could take to address it fully.
6.5
band
In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
People shop for things for varied reasons. While in earlier years it was more of buying things for homely daily necessities, folks now have started going shopping as a fun activity. Although I agree it is mostly positive for the overall nation as it results in more development, there are instances of it proving to be harmful to certain individuals.
5.5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In recent times, different companies are using advertisements in a way to make their products more attractive. Some people argue that it has many negative effects on the mass people, while I strong believe that it's a positive development in terms of multiple options and features.
5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
In today’s society, it is true that technology has a huge influence on communication of human. I believe that there are various ways that affect the interaction between people. I also rely on that technology has both positive and negative impact on social life.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last years. Discuss the causes and effect of this issue disturbing trend.

Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?