Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for eg. through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #eg #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

In today’s world, technologies have rapidly developed, allowing people to have

Add an article

a more

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comfortable life, particular, smartphones can connect to others more easily, but sometimes is not safe and may be tagged by companies or some applications that we permitted when installing

apps

without being unconscious. In my opinion, I believe that has

drawbacks

Correct quantifier usage

more drawbacks

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than benefits and I will explain below. In modern times, it is undeniable that most people have a phone and always carry it

ourselves

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

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because smartphones can call others, pay money by banking without cash and do online shopping.

Moreover

, aim to release stress by listening to music, watching VDO on YouTube etc.,

However

, before they use

apps

on phones, we necessary install

apps

while

they are placing these

then

the screen displays “allowing to follow?” so, we avoid

to click

Change the verb form

clicking

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“YES”.

Although

, permitting

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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useful like activity analysis when using

apps

can advise us to use

next,

but has more drawbacks that applications can follow us

such

as location, pictures on the phone etc., during the

using

Replace the word

use

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apps

Moreover

, if companies

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

stealed

Correct your spelling

steal

the data of users may spread in social networks.

On the other hand

, the government have PDPA laws to prevent private data of customers needed to allow from own before access it to the public.

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the

Correct article usage

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result, reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cybercrime in society.

However

, the state should encourage companies to keep user identities

such

as investing in systems safer. In conclusion, it seems that the threat of information technology is surrounding us.

However

, before clicking “YES” on

cellphones

Correct your spelling

cell phones

show examples

should read the consent form with caution and

also

, keep

aways

Correct your spelling

away

show examples

the

Change preposition

from the

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people find it beneficial to send young children to nursery school before they go to primary school, while others think that it is good to keep them at home and spend time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.