Some people believe famous peoples support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems. other think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
nowadays, it’s interesting among the masses about whether
the
famous Correct article usage
apply
people
should participate in support towards international aid
organizations. Some people
think that it’s the
great way to attack Correct article usage
a
Correct article usage
the pubblic’s
pubblic’s
attention, others think those actions may make those issues Correct your spelling
public’s
unacttractive
. I think both of those opinions have their own cause. In Correct your spelling
unattractive
this
essay
I’ll talk about them.
On the one hand, the joining of some Add a comma
essay,
celebrities
with more power and influence in such
international aid
organizations may make the incident more discussed and exposed. Because celebrities
have their own traffic, everything they do may be noticed by reporters and news media
people
. After paying attention, they will be exposed to a large extent in front of fans
, so what they do will be directly performed under the gaze of fans
. For example
, Yi Yang Qianxi participated in a speech at the United Nations on environmental protection. This
incident caused quite a stir in China at the time, and the new initiative brought the incident to a high level of public attention.
On the other hand
, the involvement of some celebrities
might make the event
itself less significant. More people
will focus on the celebrities
rather than the events they promote. For example
, some United Nations international aid
agencies invite celebrities
to promote the event
. Most fans
will watch the event
because of the celebrities
, simply watching to satisfy their desire for simplicity. Moreover
, if these celebrities
make serious mistakes after publicity and become more public scorn, then
this
publicity will be affected, and fans
will discuss this
aid
project
and criminal celebrities
together. International aid
will be affected and even unable to proceed normally.
As far as,
I’m concerned,whether Remove the comma
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
celebrities
join the
international Correct article usage
apply
aid
organizations depends on how to make it balance between the media
and famous people
. the media
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
need
use the celebrity effect to promote the purpose of Add the particle
need to
this
charity project
to Correct article usage
the pubblic
pubblic
, make more focus on the stuff. If without Correct your spelling
public
those famous person
,the Change the determiner
that famous person
those famous people
project
won’t have enough exposure to citizens,however
if only Add the comma(s)
however,
promote
the big names ,Wrong verb form
promoting
then
this
event
will lose significance.
All in all, inviting celebrities
to participate in international aid
projects has two sides. It can have greater influence, but it may also
be affected by the celebrity's subsequent bad behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
Therefore
, I think it is necessary to invite celebrities
to participate in these projects to use their star power to increase the
exposure. After Correct article usage
apply
in-depth
analysis of Add an article
an in-depth
this
issue, I feel that doing so requires balancing the relationship between the media
and celebrities
, rather than amplifying the stars themselves and thereby losing the meaning of the project
itself.Submitted by luohongqianwen on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structuring of paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Transition between paragraphs can be made smoother with the use of more varied transitional phrases. This will help in demonstrating a more sophisticated arrangement of ideas.
Task Achievement
Give your opinion clearly and support it with strong, specific examples. While some examples are provided, they could be further detailed to enhance the argument's persuasiveness.
General
Remember to use a range of grammatical structures and vocabulary. Varied and precise language contributes to clarity and richness of the text, engaging the reader more effectively.
General
Pay close attention to spelling, particularly with common words and names. Accurate use of language enhances the overall professionalism and readability of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example