Some people believe famous peoples support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems. other think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #peoples #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

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nowadays, it’s interesting among the masses about whether

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

people

Use synonyms

should participate in support towards international

aid

Use synonyms

organizations. Some

people

Use synonyms

think that it’s

the

Correct article usage

show examples

great way to attack

Correct article usage

the pubblic’s

show examples

pubblic’s

Correct your spelling

public’s

attention, others think those actions may make those issues

unacttractive

Correct your spelling

unattractive

. I think both of those opinions have their own cause. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I’ll talk about them. On the one hand, the joining of some

celebrities

Use synonyms

with more power and influence in

such

Linking Words

international

aid

Use synonyms

organizations may make the incident more discussed and exposed. Because

celebrities

Use synonyms

have their own traffic, everything they do may be noticed by reporters and news

media

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

. After paying attention, they will be exposed to a large extent in front of

fans

Use synonyms

, so what they do will be directly performed under the gaze of

fans

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, Yi Yang Qianxi participated in a speech at the United Nations on environmental protection.

This

Linking Words

incident caused quite a stir in China at the time, and the new initiative brought the incident to a high level of public attention.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the involvement of some

celebrities

Use synonyms

might make the

event

Use synonyms

itself less significant. More

people

Use synonyms

will focus on the

celebrities

Use synonyms

rather than the events they promote.

For example

Linking Words

, some United Nations international

aid

Use synonyms

agencies invite

celebrities

Use synonyms

to promote the

event

Use synonyms

. Most

fans

Use synonyms

will watch the

event

Use synonyms

because of the

celebrities

Use synonyms

, simply watching to satisfy their desire for simplicity.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if these

celebrities

Use synonyms

make serious mistakes after publicity and become more public scorn,

then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

publicity will be affected, and

fans

Use synonyms

will discuss

this

Linking Words

aid

Use synonyms

project

Use synonyms

and criminal

celebrities

Use synonyms

together. International

aid

Use synonyms

will be affected and even unable to proceed normally. As far as

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I’m concerned,whether

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

join

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

aid

Use synonyms

organizations depends on how to make it balance between the

media

Use synonyms

and famous

people

Use synonyms

. the

media

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

need

Add the particle

need to

show examples

use the celebrity effect to promote the purpose of

this

Linking Words

charity

project

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the pubblic

show examples

pubblic

Correct your spelling

public

, make more focus on the stuff. If without

those famous person

Change the determiner

that famous person

those famous people

show examples

,the

project

Use synonyms

won’t have enough exposure to citizens,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

if only

promote

Wrong verb form

promoting

show examples

the big names ,

then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

event

Use synonyms

will lose significance. All in all, inviting

celebrities

Use synonyms

to participate in international

aid

Use synonyms

projects has two sides. It can have greater influence, but it may

also

Linking Words

be affected by the celebrity's subsequent bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I think it is necessary to invite

celebrities

Use synonyms

to participate in these projects to use their star power to increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exposure. After

in-depth

Add an article

an in-depth

show examples

analysis of

this

Linking Words

issue, I feel that doing so requires balancing the relationship between the

media

Use synonyms

and

celebrities

Use synonyms

, rather than amplifying the stars themselves and thereby losing the meaning of the

project

Use synonyms

itself.

Submitted by luohongqianwen on Fri Mar 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structuring of paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Transition between paragraphs can be made smoother with the use of more varied transitional phrases. This will help in demonstrating a more sophisticated arrangement of ideas.

Task Achievement

Give your opinion clearly and support it with strong, specific examples. While some examples are provided, they could be further detailed to enhance the argument's persuasiveness.

General

Remember to use a range of grammatical structures and vocabulary. Varied and precise language contributes to clarity and richness of the text, engaging the reader more effectively.

General

Pay close attention to spelling, particularly with common words and names. Accurate use of language enhances the overall professionalism and readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

435 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

International aid
Celebrity endorsement
Public awareness
Humanitarian issues
Philanthropic efforts
Advocacy
Media coverage
Publicity stunt
Ambassador for change
Sustainable support
Influential figures
Public interest
Overshadowing
Genuine concern
Rally support

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Some people believe famous peoples support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems. other think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays some professions such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries.

Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. As part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your choices.

students should pay their full university fees themselves Do you agree or disagree?

living in big cities is associated with many problems, what are these problems and how can they be tackled?