In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying
tha
fact that nowadays the majority of countries Correct your spelling
the
that
treated
Wrong verb form
treat
women
equally with
Change preposition
to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
men
a man
men
in terms of job
and Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
right
.Fix the agreement mistake
rights
While
it is a commonly held belief women
should be
work full-time.There are Unnecessary verb
apply
also
an argument opposes
it.In my opinion,Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
i
consider that Change the capitalization
I
women
working full-time it
would be a huge benefit not only for Correct pronoun usage
apply
economic
system but Correct article usage
the economic
also
to utilize
Change preposition
for utilizing
her
skills.
Correct pronoun usage
their
To begin
with,Support
Replace the word
Supporting
women
is really crucial to improv
our community because when she Correct your spelling
improve
working
full-time she Wrong verb form
works
get
Change the verb form
gets
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
same
Correct article usage
the same
men
Change noun form
men's
sallery
.Correct your spelling
salary
In other
words
There are many advantages to Add a comma
words,
make
Wrong verb form
making
women
working full-time women
more creativity
and most Replace the word
creative
of
Change preposition
apply
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
prefer
make Add the particle
prefer to
deal
with female Fix the agreement mistake
deals
worker
than Fix the agreement mistake
workers
male
.In Fix the agreement mistake
males
addision
,Time management could help Correct your spelling
addition
women
to do household beside
their job.Change preposition
besides
For example
,According
the Add the preposition
According to
last
study in japan
the most successful Capitalize word
Japan
women
those working full day.
Another point to consider,sharing responsibility is important.Men
should be having
Wrong verb form
have
knowledge
to deal with house Change the article
the knowledge
task
and look after kids.It is possible to say that life Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
need
more cooperation it Change the verb form
needs
help
Change the verb form
helps
women
to less strees
and Correct your spelling
stress
decrease
the conflict with Change the verb form
decreases
men
.moreover
,Capitalize word
Moreover
family
with two parents Fix the agreement mistake
families
employees
are much Correct word choice
and employees
happer
Correct your spelling
happier
versus
with their not working.Change preposition
than
For instance
,although
many negative consequenses
for kids, their parents Correct your spelling
consequences
working
full-time but still Wrong verb form
work
having
Wrong verb form
have
good
chance to live their life without budget Add an article
a good
deffect
.
In conclusion,Correct your spelling
deficit
defect
despit
people having different views.I believe that the main purpose of the government Correct your spelling
despite
to
engage Add a missing verb
is to
women
in the job market because they belief
they can work like Replace the word
believe
male
.Fix the agreement mistake
males
Submitted by ahmad.a07 on
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Introduction
Improve the clarity and structure of your introduction. Present your thesis statement more clearly to immediately inform the reader of your stance on the issue.
Body Paragraphs
Work on developing clear and well-structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by explanations and examples.
Linking Words
Use a wider range of connectors and discourse markers to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help enhance coherence and cohesion.
Grammar and Punctuation
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Frequent errors can hinder the clarity of your argument and reduce the overall effectiveness of your essay.
Task Response
Address the task more directly by providing more specific examples and explanations relevant to the topic. Analyzing both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint can enrich your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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