In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying

tha

Correct your spelling

the

that

fact that nowadays the majority of countries

treated

Wrong verb form

treat

show examples

women

Use synonyms

equally

with

Change preposition

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

men

a man

show examples

men

Use synonyms

in terms of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

While

Linking Words

it is a commonly held belief

women

Use synonyms

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

work full-time.There are

also

Linking Words

an argument

opposes

Correct pronoun usage

that opposes

show examples

it.In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

consider that

women

Use synonyms

working full-time

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would be a huge benefit not only for

economic

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

system but

also

Linking Words

to utilize

Change preposition

for utilizing

show examples

her

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

skills.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

Support

Replace the word

Supporting

show examples

women

Use synonyms

is really crucial to

improv

Correct your spelling

improve

show examples

our community because when she

working

Wrong verb form

works

show examples

full-time she

get

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gets

show examples

payed

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paid

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

Use synonyms

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

sallery

Correct your spelling

salary

In other

Linking Words

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

There are many advantages to

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

women

Use synonyms

working full-time

women

Use synonyms

creativity

Replace the word

creative

show examples

and most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

customer

Fix the agreement mistake

customers

show examples

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

make

deal

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deals

show examples

with female

worker

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workers

show examples

than

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

.In

addision

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addition

,Time management could help

women

Use synonyms

to do household

beside

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besides

show examples

their job.

For example

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According

Add the preposition

According to

show examples

the

last

Linking Words

study in

japan

Capitalize word

Japan

show examples

the most successful

women

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those working full day. Another point to consider,sharing responsibility is important.

Men

Use synonyms

should

be having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

knowledge

Change the article

the knowledge

show examples

to deal with house

task

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tasks

show examples

and look after kids.It is possible to say that life

need

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needs

show examples

more cooperation it

help

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helps

show examples

women

Use synonyms

to less

strees

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stress

and

decrease

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decreases

show examples

the conflict with

men

Use synonyms

Linking Words

moreover

Capitalize word

Moreover

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

with two parents

employees

Correct word choice

and employees

show examples

are much

happer

Correct your spelling

happier

versus

Change preposition

than

show examples

with their not working.

For instance

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

many negative

consequenses

Correct your spelling

consequences

for kids, their parents

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

full-time but still

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

good

Add an article

a good

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chance to live their life without budget

deffect

Correct your spelling

deficit

defect

. In conclusion,

despit

Correct your spelling

despite

people having different views.I believe that the main purpose of the government

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

engage

women

Use synonyms

in the job market because they

belief

Replace the word

believe

show examples

they can work like

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

ahmad.a07Fri Mar 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Improve the clarity and structure of your introduction. Present your thesis statement more clearly to immediately inform the reader of your stance on the issue.

Body Paragraphs

Work on developing clear and well-structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by explanations and examples.

Linking Words

Use a wider range of connectors and discourse markers to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help enhance coherence and cohesion.

Grammar and Punctuation

Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Frequent errors can hinder the clarity of your argument and reduce the overall effectiveness of your essay.

Task Response

Address the task more directly by providing more specific examples and explanations relevant to the topic. Analyzing both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint can enrich your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

evolutionary shift
workforce participation
shared responsibilities
partnership model
connected relationships
domestic sphere
gender equality
role models
practical challenges
technological advancements
societal norms
distribution of chores
physical ability
personal preferences
alleviate the burden
dynamics

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In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people believe that athletes, such as football players, are paid too much money. Others argue that they have extraordinary skills and deserve to earn large amounts of money.