IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently went to a concert and thought one of te singers was very good. You want to tell him hoe you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter - say how you feel about his performance -give details of your musical activities -explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

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Dear Sartaj, Hope
this
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 letter finds you well. I writing to let you know that your performance at the night concert was outstanding. I've never seen anybody singing as you did; at a certain point when your pitch was relatively high and you were singing in rags, that moment gave me goosebumps. Actually, I am
also
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 a part-time
music
Use synonyms
 teacher, so I have knowledge about vocal and instrumental
music
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. As usual, I am an accountant for a company, but
music
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 is my passion. I have performed at many big stages,
such
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 as Indian Idle and Hop-hip.
However
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, there are some things related to vocal
music
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 that I want to learn from a teacher/mentor like you. I will be thankful to you if you teach me Rag Malahaar because it is hard to find a teacher these days who knows about that rag. Please let me know if you can provide me with classes online/offline. As usual, I am free on weekends. Looking forward to hearing from you, Yours faithfully, GS

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your letter for small grammatical or spelling mistakes such as 'I writing' instead of 'I am writing' and 'rags' instead of 'raagas'. These small errors can affect the clarity of your message.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific details about your musical activities, like mentioning any particular instruments you play or specific genres you perform. This will make your request for assistance more personal and compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single idea for better coherence and cohesion, even though your paragraphs are already quite effective in this regard.
greeting and closing
The letter has clear and appropriate greeting and closing, which adds to its formal tone.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph effectively communicates a single idea, making the letter easy to follow.
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