Details of politicians' private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politicians #lives #newspapers

It is believed that publishing politicians' private

information

in the media should be avoided, I completely agree with

this

viewpoint because it can pose a threat to their families and obtaining

this

information

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

breaking the law. The primary concern is that leaked internal

information

about politicians can have frightening consequences for their families. In certain situations, terrorists may exploit

this

by using torture on family members of political figures in order to manipulate them into complying with their demands, which could potentially jeopardize the safety of the country.

For instance

, In India, Prime Minister Indra Gandhi was assassinated by individuals who pretended to be her security guards.

This

happened because they received news that PM was alone at home with minimal security.

Secondly

, It is not a straightforward process to obtain internal

information

about political leaders. It is expected that anyone

Correct pronoun usage

who work

show examples

work

Change the verb form

works

show examples

with them has to sign

contract

Add an article

a contract

the contract

show examples

of privacy and confidentiality. Certain

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

use a bribery as

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

show examples

of acquiring

information

. When confidential

information

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

leaked, it means someone has broken the law, which could result in legal action, including the employee being dismissed from employment or even imprisonment.

For instance

presence

Correct article usage

the presence

show examples

of untrustworthy people around is

serious

Add an article

a serious

show examples

concern for politicians as they pose a threat to their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and loved ones. In conclusion, It is crucial to protect the privacy of political leaders;

otherwise

, it will be dangerous for their families and lead to frequent violations of privacy laws.

Submitted by gsgaganmann on Sat Mar 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that presents your thesis statement succinctly. Then, organize your supporting arguments logically in the body paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct point with examples. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments succinctly.

introduction conclusion present

Make sure your essay starts with a clear introduction stating your viewpoint, followed by coherent paragraphs that logically progress from one idea to the next, and ends with a concise conclusion summarizing your main points.

supported main points

Develop your main points by providing more detailed explanations, evidence, and examples. Each argument should be clearly stated and elaborated upon with relevant information to strengthen your essay.

complete response

To fully address the task, ensure your response covers all aspects of the question. Expand on your ideas with detailed analysis and examples. Address potential counterarguments to provide a balanced and comprehensive argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and develop your ideas thoroughly in each paragraph. Avoid vague statements by providing specific examples and reasons. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.

relevant specific examples

Enhance your argument by including more varied and specific examples. Reference real-world events, studies, or hypothetical situations to support your points. This adds credibility and depth to your analysis.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Society ensures that family is the key to children becoming well-mannered citizens. Conversely, others assume teachers will do better. In my view, both of them, Parents will develop their character descent while Teachers will increase children’s sense of ability and morals.
7.5
band
Ecotourism is now defined as responsible travel to natural areas that conserves the environment . What are the advantages of ecotourism ? how can we make ecotourism more popular ?
Ecotourism, defined as responsible travel to natural areas that conserves the environment, has become an essential component of sustainable tourism. As the global awareness of environmental issues grows, ecotourism presents numerous benefits, both for the environment and local communities. This essay will explore the advantages of ecotourism and suggest ways to enhance its popularity.
4.5
band
Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
It is argued that consumerism is highly influeneced by advertisements companies.I strongly believe that the impact of advertising can be seen on people daily choises. As increasing awareness of the disadvantages among soceity members is one of the suggested solutions for this matter.
5
band
University students are increasingly studying aboard as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying aboard outweigh the disadvantages?
It is thought by some that studying overseas is a part of university students’ studies which make it rapidly increase in development. Having study aboard, obviously, may bring some positive sides rather than its drawbacks such as gaining more experiences and being exposed to many different perspectives.
7
band
In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.
In this fast-paced economic era, numerous married women have decided to work alongside their husbands to reach family financial stability. Some believe that this approach could benefit the children of these families, while others state that this generation might experience various drawbacks such as lack of parental support, emotional support, and loneliness. In this essay, I will shed some light on the positive and negative impacts of the given notion.

Details of politicians' private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Ecotourism is now defined as responsible travel to natural areas that conserves the environment . What are the advantages of ecotourism ? how can we make ecotourism more popular ?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

University students are increasingly studying aboard as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying aboard outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.