Details of politicians' private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that publishing politicians' private
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in the media should be avoided, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

viewpoint because it can pose a threat to their families and obtaining
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires

It seems that the verb require does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
breaking the law. The primary concern is that leaked internal
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about politicians can have frightening consequences for their families. In certain situations, terrorists may exploit
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

by using torture on family members of political figures in order to manipulate them into complying with their demands, which could potentially jeopardize the safety of the country.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In India, Prime Minister Indra Gandhi was assassinated by individuals who pretended to be her security guards. 
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

happened because they received news that PM was alone at home with minimal security.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It is not a straightforward process to obtain internal
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about political leaders. It is expected that anyone 
Correct pronoun usage
who work

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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work
Change the verb form
works

It appears that the indefinite pronoun anyone does not agree with the verb work in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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with them has to sign
contract
Add an article
a contract
the contract

The noun phrase contract seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of privacy and confidentiality. Certain
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
use a bribery as
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means

It seems that mean may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of acquiring
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. When confidential
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb being appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
leaked, it means someone has broken the law, which could result in legal action, including the employee being dismissed from employment or even imprisonment.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of untrustworthy people around is
serious
Add an article
a serious

The noun phrase serious concern seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
concern for politicians as they pose a threat to their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and loved ones. In conclusion, It is crucial to protect the privacy of political leaders;
otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it will be dangerous for their families and lead to frequent violations of privacy laws.

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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that presents your thesis statement succinctly. Then, organize your supporting arguments logically in the body paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct point with examples. Your conclusion should summarize your arguments succinctly.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your essay starts with a clear introduction stating your viewpoint, followed by coherent paragraphs that logically progress from one idea to the next, and ends with a concise conclusion summarizing your main points.
supported main points
Develop your main points by providing more detailed explanations, evidence, and examples. Each argument should be clearly stated and elaborated upon with relevant information to strengthen your essay.
complete response
To fully address the task, ensure your response covers all aspects of the question. Expand on your ideas with detailed analysis and examples. Address potential counterarguments to provide a balanced and comprehensive argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas thoroughly in each paragraph. Avoid vague statements by providing specific examples and reasons. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
Enhance your argument by including more varied and specific examples. Reference real-world events, studies, or hypothetical situations to support your points. This adds credibility and depth to your analysis.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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