Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #pressure

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Although

it is sometimes thought that

childchildren

Correct your spelling

child children

ought to do extra

curricularactivities

Correct your spelling

curricular activities

after school,other people believe that

such

activities

can lead

children

to be under pressure. In my opinion, I consider that extracurricular

activities

may put

children

under stress. On the one hand ,some people think that

children

who do extracurricular

activities

can gain several benefits which can

be help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them greatly in their lives ,and I agree.

In other words

, doing more curricular

activities

after school

such

sports

Change preposition

as sports

show examples

can be beneficial for

students

expecially

Correct your spelling

especially

in terms of their health. If,

overweigh

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

children

for example

, are encouraged to

Verb problem

play

show examples

spots

Correct your spelling

sports

show examples

, namely playing football after

shool

Correct your spelling

school

show examples

hours, they can burn their calories fast and be in shape. .

Furthermore

,unlike extracurricular

activities

,academic subjects do not teach

students

skills and teamwork.

Therefore

students

have more opportunity to develop their social life skills.

On the other hand

,it is often believed that the focus should be on academic subjects

instead

of focus on extracurricular

activities

because it can put

children

under pressure.Some

students

are not interested in any curricular

activities

,and they prefer to focus only on their academic subjects,so they do not want any distractions from any other

activities

For example

,some

students

try to study science and medicine, so for them doing extracurricular

activities

is pointless.

Moreover

,forcing extracurricular

activities

does not promote independence or autonomy.

To sum up

while

people may vary in their opinions, I think that

children

stand a better chance of succeeding in social life if they have extracurricular

activities

in their schools.

Submitted by s_syedy on Sat Mar 09 2024

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Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, ensure that you address the question directly and develop your ideas fully. Try to balance the discussion of both views before stating your opinion. Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, aim for a clearer logical structure by organizing your paragraphs effectively. Start with a topic sentence for each paragraph, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

246 words

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Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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