New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
There is a recurring argument that with
the
access to a wide range of new and innovative Correct article usage
apply
technologies
, the way of spending leisure time
of
Change preposition
with
children
have been
changed. Wrong verb form
has
This
writer argues that the benefits of developing problem-solving skills
and staying connected with family and friends outweigh the drawback
of sleep disorders.
The most advantageous factor of modern Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
technologies
is their ability to promote learning and skills
development for children
. To explain further
, there is a variety of educational apps and games that can help children
to
learn mathematics, science, and language Verb problem
apply
skills
in a simple, fun, and engaging manner. Additionally
, video games have the potential to teach children
problem-solving skills
, critical thinking, and hand-eye coordination which is essential for their work and study. From prior knowledge, in most developed countries, youngsters are encouraged to interact with technology since the first year of primary education.
Keeping in touch with families and friends must also
be considered. It must be recognised that technologies
such
as social media, messaging apps, and video chat programs can enhance modes of communication allowing children
to stay connected with friends and family who live far away from them. In other words
, those individuals have the ability to send messages as well as
have video calls through the
social platforms. Thereby, Correct article usage
apply
children
can stay closer with whom they love.
However
, a few parents believed that technologies
could pose a risk to the physical and mental health of children
that
get too much screen Correct pronoun usage
who
time
. They believe that spending too much time
on devices can cause sleep disorders, which is the consequence of stopping melatonin in our bodies due to
the blue light. This
may be true, but by effective parental control, the amount of time
that children
spend on technology devices will be reduced.
Taking all points into account, the possible impact of children
have lack of sleep is outweighed by the opportunity to gain vital skills
and keep in touch with each other. Hence
, accessing
to Replace the word
access
the
technology can be beneficial for kids.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea throughout. At times, your paragraphs introduce a primary concept but then meander slightly into related but distinct areas. Aim for precision.
coherence cohesion
Integrate more precise and varied connective devices to enhance the flow of your essay. While your essay demonstrates a good use of basic connectors, the utilization of more sophisticated linking words would improve the overall fluency and cohesiveness.
task achievement
Broaden the scope of your examples to include more varied and specific instances. The examples you provide effectively support your arguments, but incorporating a wider range of detailed examples can further strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Carefully check your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement is always maintained. These small corrections can significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!