New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
There is a recurring argument that with
the
access to a wide range of new and innovative Correct article usage
apply
technologies
, the way of spending leisure Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
with
children
Use synonyms
have been
changed. Wrong verb form
has
This
writer argues that the benefits of developing problem-solving Linking Words
skills
and staying connected with family and friends outweigh the Use synonyms
drawback
of sleep disorders.
The most advantageous factor of modern Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
technologies
is their ability to promote learning and Use synonyms
skills
development for Use synonyms
children
. To explain Use synonyms
further
, there is a variety of educational apps and games that can help Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
to
learn mathematics, science, and language Verb problem
apply
skills
in a simple, fun, and engaging manner. Use synonyms
Additionally
, video games have the potential to teach Linking Words
children
problem-solving Use synonyms
skills
, critical thinking, and hand-eye coordination which is essential for their work and study. From prior knowledge, in most developed countries, youngsters are encouraged to interact with technology since the first year of primary education.
Keeping in touch with families and friends must Use synonyms
also
be considered. It must be recognised that Linking Words
technologies
Use synonyms
such
as social media, messaging apps, and video chat programs can enhance modes of communication allowing Linking Words
children
to stay connected with friends and family who live far away from them. Use synonyms
In other words
, those individuals have the ability to send messages Linking Words
as well as
have video calls through Linking Words
the
social platforms. Thereby, Correct article usage
apply
children
can stay closer with whom they love.
Use synonyms
However
, a few parents believed that Linking Words
technologies
could pose a risk to the physical and mental health of Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
that
get too much screen Correct pronoun usage
who
time
. They believe that spending too much Use synonyms
time
on devices can cause sleep disorders, which is the consequence of stopping melatonin in our bodies Use synonyms
due to
the blue light. Linking Words
This
may be true, but by effective parental control, the amount of Linking Words
time
that Use synonyms
children
spend on technology devices will be reduced.
Taking all points into account, the possible impact of Use synonyms
children
have lack of sleep is outweighed by the opportunity to gain vital Use synonyms
skills
and keep in touch with each other. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
accessing
to Replace the word
access
the
technology can be beneficial for kids.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea throughout. At times, your paragraphs introduce a primary concept but then meander slightly into related but distinct areas. Aim for precision.
coherence cohesion
Integrate more precise and varied connective devices to enhance the flow of your essay. While your essay demonstrates a good use of basic connectors, the utilization of more sophisticated linking words would improve the overall fluency and cohesiveness.
task achievement
Broaden the scope of your examples to include more varied and specific instances. The examples you provide effectively support your arguments, but incorporating a wider range of detailed examples can further strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Carefully check your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement is always maintained. These small corrections can significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.