IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The presented flowchart clearly shows the steps involved in producing consumer goods in an organised manner.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it gets
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feedback
Use synonyms
 from the earlier
stages
Use synonyms
 to make improvements.
Overall
Linking Words
, It shows different
production
Use synonyms
 and sales
stages
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
feedback
Use synonyms
 from earlier
stages
Use synonyms
 that enable the
process
Use synonyms
 to progress and
modifications
Replace the word
modify
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is a linear
process
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the purchase of produced components and raw materials, which are stored for the planning of the
production
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
, marks the beginning of the product manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, product
research
Use synonyms
 and design are
stages
Use synonyms
 of the
production
Use synonyms
 planning section. After the
production
Use synonyms
 planning is done, assembly, inspection, testing, and packing of the finished product are all completed consecutively as part of the
process
Use synonyms
 before the item is sent to be sold to customers.
While
Linking Words
 the
process
Use synonyms
 is on, the several
feedback
Use synonyms
 is shared between the different
stages
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
production
Use synonyms
 planning gives
feedback
Use synonyms
 to the storage.
Next,
Linking Words
sales provide
feedback
Use synonyms
 to the manufacturing planning and market
research
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, market
research
Use synonyms
 shares its
feedback
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the packaging and advertising. At the same time, testing and market
research
Use synonyms
 offers
feedback
Use synonyms
 to design.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words feedback, stages, production, process, research with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: