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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#consumer #durables #telephone #refrigerator #britain #report #university #lecturer #information
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The table chart illustrates the consumer durables
about
Change preposition
of
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 central heating,
television
Use synonyms
, video,
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
dishwasher
Fix the agreement mistake
dishwashers
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 and
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
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 between 1972 and 1983 in Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 table
chart
Add a comma
chart,
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 the most used items were
television
Use synonyms
,
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner and refrigerator
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
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, the least used equipment were video and dishwasher.
Its
Correct your spelling
It is
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 crystal clear that in
1972’s
Verb problem
1972
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 the most popular electronic devices were
Use synonyms
television
Fix the agreement mistake
televisions
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 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners and most of the Britain population got them above 93% and 87% in 1972, respectively. The number of televisions had been increased steadily from 1972 to 1983.
Besides
Linking Words
, as we can see in the chart It's just that the number of
Use synonyms
television
Fix the agreement mistake
televisions
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased year by year. The percentage of central heating,
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 and
last
Linking Words
 but not least
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
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were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
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in
Change preposition
from
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 1972 to 1983.
However
Linking Words
; we couldn’t see dishwasher and video owners
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1972 to 1976 and 1972 to 1982 respectively.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, vacuum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer durables
  • Annual trends
  • Ownership percentage
  • Notable increases/decreases
  • Milestones
  • Initial/final ownership
  • Comparative analysis
  • Significant changes
  • Overall trend
  • Shifts in ownership
  • Patterns in data
  • Year-on-year analysis
  • Implications
  • Data highlights
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