IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some argue that technological advancements led
people
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 to become more friendly.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement because the use of
technology
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 made interaction with
people
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 easier and it made it possible to connect with
people
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 from different parts of the
world
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.
To begin
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 with, the advancements in
technology
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,
such
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 as smartphones and computers made it easier to talk with other human beings. Talking to others can now be done in just one click without the need to physically see them.
People
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 can now send a message, make phone calls and video call in the comfort of their beds.
For instance
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, if someone wants to ask something to a friend, they can talk to them instantly by just making a
videocall
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video call
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.
Thus
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,
technology
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 has made it easier to interact with each other.
In addition
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 to that, it made it possible to connect with
people
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 from different parts of the
world
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. The rise of social media made it possible to make friends with anyone in the
world
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. Because of
this
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, having thousands of friends or followers from all over the
world
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 became a popular thing.
For instance
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, websites
such
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 as Facebook and Instagram allow individuals to be friends with anyone.
Thus
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,
technology
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 has paved
way
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the way
a way
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into
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for
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 connecting the
world
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 in an easier and faster way. In conclusion, technological advancements have made a significant difference in today's
world
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. I believe that it helped individuals to be more social by easing the way of interaction and it helps in connecting
people
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 from around the globe.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance and preview main points to better guide readers through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs, and to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Develop and support your main points more comprehensively. Elaborate on how technology enhances social interaction with more detailed examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph structuring to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations, and a concluding sentence that links back to the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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