The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the Internet market sales for retail sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013. Regarding the first year (2003),
Travel
had the highest ratio by far in comparison to others.
In addition
, Film
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
music and
clothes
both held
second
place
at about 22
percent
and they were closely followed by
books
. In regard to the
second
year of record (2013), Film and music had the first rank and
travel
held the
second
position.
Furthermore
,
Books
had the send
place
.
Although
clothes
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
the
last
place
, it was not far from the
books
. In conclusion, even though
travel
had first
place
in 2003, it ended up being in
second
position.
Moreover
,
clothes
were
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
place
in both years but with different
percent
Replace the word
percentages
show examples
of sales.
Thus
, the most graduate increase was for the film and music category
due to
the fact that it came from 22 to 33
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the most reduction was for
travel
on account of the fact that it came from 37 to 29
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Consequently
, there were the least changes in
clothes
and
books
and they almost remained in their positions,
Submitted by Parsahassani077 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, clothes, second, place, percent, books with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Retail sectors
  • Online shopping sales
  • Market share
  • E-commerce
  • Growth trend
  • Significant change/increase/decrease
  • Percentage points
  • Consumer behavior
  • Shopping patterns
  • Revenue
  • Electronic goods
  • Clothing and footwear
  • Health and beauty products
  • Digital downloading
  • Leisure and personal goods
  • Sector analysis
  • Year-over-year comparison
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