The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the Internet market sales for retail sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and
2013.
Regarding the first year (2003),
Travel
had the highest ratio by far in comparison to others. In addition
, Film and
music and Correct word choice
apply
clothes
both held second
place
at about 22 percent
and they were closely followed by books
.
In regard to the second
year of record (2013), Film and music had the first rank and travel
held the second
position. Furthermore
, Books
had the send place
. Although
clothes
had
the Verb problem
were
last
place
, it was not far from the books
.
In conclusion, even though travel
had first place
in 2003, it ended up being in second
position.
Moreover
, clothes
were last
Correct article usage
the last
place
in both years but with different percent
of sales. Replace the word
percentages
Thus
, the most graduate increase was for the film and music category due to
the fact that it came from 22 to 33 percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
On the other hand
, the most reduction was for travel
on account of the fact that it came from 37 to 29 percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
Consequently
, there were the least changes in clothes
and books
and they almost remained in their positions,Submitted by Parsahassani077 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, clothes, second, place, percent, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼