International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh disadvantages?

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With the development of transportation in
this
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era, travellers can visit any country in the world. Aside from the problems they might cause,
this
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can bring many advantages to a country. In my opinion,
this
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statement is true, and I will elaborate on the reasons in
this
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essay. On the one hand, there are many benefits to international travelling that we can list out.
To begin
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with,
this
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activity can be a great contribution to the economy, because the more foreign a country
attract
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attracts
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, the greater their income from
tourism
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can be, and the more attractive they are to investors.
Moreover
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, with more tourists, more employment opportunities are given to the locals.
Tourism
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needs many
staffs
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staff
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in hotels, bars, restaurants, etc. which can be a great help to countries with high unemployment
rate
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rates
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.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are
also
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disadvantages
from
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to
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having more foreign
travelers
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travellers
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.
Firstly
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,
tourism
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is one of the greatest
contributions
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contributors
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to pollution, and international
tourism
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is not an exception. Many beautiful sceneries have been ruined by garbage littered everywhere, natural and man-made alike.
Additionally
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, the
confliction
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conflict
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between cultures and
exploitation
Correct article usage
the exploitation
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of cultures for
economical
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economic
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benefits can harm their cores. They are more than just costumes and customs that are used as an act to gain money from tourists, and not all tourists can understand and respect them. In
conclusions
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conclusion
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, foreign
travelers
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travellers
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can harm the environment and the cultures of
countries
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the countries
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that they travel to.
However
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, we can
also
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consider some benefits
on
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of
show examples
international
tourism
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,
such
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as being a great contribution to the economy and creating more employment opportunities.
Submitted by buiquanganh95 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by linking ideas more smoothly and creating a clearer progression between paragraphs. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect sections seamlessly.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the introduction, clearly present your thesis statement. In the conclusion, don’t introduce new arguments. Reiterate your stance and summarize the main points you’ve discussed, ensuring a strong finish to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
To better support your main points, include a variety of specific examples and evidence. This will not only make your argument more compelling but also demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by covering all aspects of the question. Your response should be comprehensive, providing a balanced analysis of both the advantages and disadvantages of increased tourism.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and detailed. This demonstrates your ability to explore and discuss the topic in depth, which is essential for a high Task Achievement score.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the subject matter, contributing to a higher Task Achievement score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
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