International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh disadvantages?
With the development of transportation in
this
era, travellers can visit any country in the world. Aside from the problems they might cause, this
can bring many advantages to a country. In my opinion, this
statement is true, and I will elaborate on the reasons in this
essay.
On the one hand, there are many benefits to international travelling that we can list out. To begin
with, this
activity can be a great contribution to the economy, because the more foreign a country attract
, the greater their income from Change the verb form
attracts
tourism
can be, and the more attractive they are to investors. Moreover
, with more tourists, more employment opportunities are given to the locals. Tourism
needs many staffs
in hotels, bars, restaurants, etc. which can be a great help to countries with high unemployment Fix the agreement mistake
staff
rate
.
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
However
, on the other hand
, there are also
disadvantages from
having more foreign Change preposition
to
travelers
. Change the spelling
travellers
Firstly
, tourism
is one of the greatest contributions
to pollution, and international Replace the word
contributors
tourism
is not an exception. Many beautiful sceneries have been ruined by garbage littered everywhere, natural and man-made alike. Additionally
, the confliction
between cultures and Replace the word
conflict
exploitation
of cultures for Correct article usage
the exploitation
economical
benefits can harm their cores. They are more than just costumes and customs that are used as an act to gain money from tourists, and not all tourists can understand and respect them.
In Replace the word
economic
conclusions
, foreign Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
travelers
can harm the environment and the cultures of Change the spelling
travellers
countries
that they travel to. Correct article usage
the countries
However
, we can also
consider some benefits on
international Change preposition
of
tourism
, such
as being a great contribution to the economy and creating more employment opportunities.Submitted by buiquanganh95 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by linking ideas more smoothly and creating a clearer progression between paragraphs. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect sections seamlessly.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the introduction, clearly present your thesis statement. In the conclusion, don’t introduce new arguments. Reiterate your stance and summarize the main points you’ve discussed, ensuring a strong finish to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
To better support your main points, include a variety of specific examples and evidence. This will not only make your argument more compelling but also demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by covering all aspects of the question. Your response should be comprehensive, providing a balanced analysis of both the advantages and disadvantages of increased tourism.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and detailed. This demonstrates your ability to explore and discuss the topic in depth, which is essential for a high Task Achievement score.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the subject matter, contributing to a higher Task Achievement score.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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