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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do agree or disagree

#people #aim #sales #products
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‏In the contemporary consumer-driven world, advertising has become an omnipresent force shaping our perceptions, desires, and purchasing behaviours.
While
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 some argue that the primary objective of advertising is to boost the sales of
products
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 that people don’t truly need, the reality is more nuanced.
This
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 essay will delve into the multifaceted nature of advertising, exploring its impact on consumer behaviour, economic dynamics, and societal values. ‏
Firstly
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, it is undeniable that advertising often promotes
products
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 that may not be essential for consumers. Through clever marketing strategies, advertisers create a sense of desire and aspiration, persuading individuals to purchase goods or services they might not
otherwise
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 prioritize. From luxury cars to designer clothing, many advertisements appeal to consumers’ aspirations for status, glamour, and social acceptance, rather than addressing genuine needs. ‏
Moreover
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, advertising plays a pivotal role in driving economic activity and fostering competition. By promoting
products
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 and stimulating consumer demand, advertising contributes to the growth of businesses, job creation, and
overall
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 economic prosperity. In a competitive market environment, advertising serves as a means for companies to differentiate their offerings and attract customers, ultimately leading to innovation and product improvement. ‏In conclusion,
while
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 advertising undoubtedly plays a role in promoting
products
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 that may not be strictly necessary, its function extends beyond mere sales promotion. Advertising serves as a powerful tool for informing consumers, driving economic growth, shaping cultural attitudes, and advocating for societal values. By balancing commercial interests with social responsibility, advertisers can harness the potential of advertising to create positive outcomes for individuals, businesses, and society as a whole.
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Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, presenting a balanced view on the role of advertising. However, the introduction could more directly address the question, stating your agreement or disagreement with the statement. This sets a clearer agenda for the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is structured logically, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader's understanding from one point to the next. Consider using more varied and explicit transitional phrases to strengthen the coherence of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay touches upon relevant examples (e.g., luxury cars, designer clothing), deeper analysis or more specific examples could enhance the argument's persuasiveness. Demonstrating how these examples directly relate to the main thesis can provide stronger support for your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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