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Band 4.5

Advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at primary school

#language #school
Pron and cons of covering other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
language
 at primary school. Regarding the
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
, when students start to learn another
language
 which is
English
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most cases, they will be able to communicate with
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
.
In addition
, if they
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to travel to other countries for different purposes, they will be able to guide their own family.
Moreover
, from time to time people decide to continue their education in another country and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they
require
Wrong verb form
are required
show examples
 to learn another
language
.
Additionally
, some
student
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 interested
on
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 topics like IT and they will be in touch with computers a lot and knowing
English
 make their job much easier. In regard
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 dark side of learning another
language
, often
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will be asked to learn
language
Add an article
a language
the language
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 which it was
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 by the
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 education system but
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can not find
logical
Add an article
a logical
show examples
 reason to study that
language
.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 in my high school, it was compulsory to learn 2
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 despite
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our own
language
 and those two were Arabic and
English
.
Although
 it was reasonable to learn
English
due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
 that
English
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 international
language
, it was not logical to learn Arabic.
In addition
, the other problem that I want
mention
Add the particle
to mention
show examples
 is the method that they taught
English
 to us. the method was not practical.
Due to
impractical
Correct article usage
the impractical
show examples
 way of learning
language
, even
student
 who got good
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 could not use their knowledge to communicate.
Consequently
, it is
fantastic
Add an article
a fantastic
show examples
 idea to learn a
language
 in primary school but
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to give
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 more freedom and let them choose the
language
 which they want to learn.
Furthermore
, in my idea
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 learning
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 more practical would make
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
diffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
.
Submitted by Parsahassani077 on

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Task Achievement
Focus on structuring your essay clearly with an introductory paragraph that outlines the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at primary school. Provide a clear thesis statement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas into paragraphs, each discussing a specific advantage or disadvantage. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clarify the main idea being discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a variety of transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly. This will help guide the reader through your argument in a logical order.
Task Achievement
Include a conclusion that summarizes the advantages and disadvantages discussed and provides a final opinion or recommendation. This strengthens your argument and creates a complete response.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support each advantage or disadvantage. This gives your arguments more weight and makes your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammar errors. Use accurate vocabulary and aim for a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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