People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?
It is true that many old people are living longer after their
retirement
. This
can lead to some negative consequences, which can require possible solutions to be adopted.
There are many problems resulting from living longer after retirement
. One obvious issue is financial burdens. When the old retired, they did not have financial independence. However
, they need to have adequate financial resources to survive.
Pensions are too meager
for them to sustain their lives, so they have Change the spelling
meagre
no
enough money to Correct your spelling
not
remain
their lives. Verb problem
maintain
Consequently
, their quality of life decreases significantly. That caused a financial burden on their children. Another potential problem is that old people who start living once he
Correct pronoun usage
they
retires
put pressure on the health care system. The extended lifespan makes their health more and more bad.That leads to increased healthcare needs but there Correct subject-verb agreement
retire
is
not enough human resources to take care of all. Change the verb form
are
As a result
, the extended lifespan places a strain on the healthcare system.
Various measures, nevertheless
, can be implemented to address these issues. The first possible solution is more subsidies. The government should have more subsidies for the elderly, so they can maintain their lives. For example
, many elderly people in many countries can pay for accommodation and medical examinations thanks to monthly government subsidies. The second approach is that the government is able to introduce new laws that raise the average retirement
ages
. They can save a lot of money for their old age to meet their life needs in old age.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
age
although
longlife
into Correct your spelling
long life
retirement
can give rise to many issues, steps can be taken to alleviate the situation.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce the topic and your thesis statement more clearly in the introduction and summarize your main points effectively in your conclusion.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
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General
Review your essay for grammatical errors and aim for variety in sentence structures. Proper grammar and sentence variety can enhance the clarity of your ideas and overall presentation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.