You are studying English at a private language school attended by many international students. You are planning a surprise birthday party for a friend who has been feeling particularly sad and homesick. Write to another classmate and invite him/her to the party. In your letter: •explain the reason for the party •give the date and time of the party •suggest what the classmate could bring to the party

#english #language #school #students #surprise #birthday #party #friend #classmate #•explain #reason #•give #date #time #•suggest

Dear Taj, I hope you are feeling great. I am writing

this

letter to invite you to a birthday party of our friend Jaideep which is going to be held

this

weekend. As you know, he is from Singapore and he is living away from their family.

Therefore

, I plan to give a surprise celebration to him which will make him happy.

Firstly

, there is an Italian restaurant near to our school and I have gone there several times. The venue is at

this

restaurant on 29th December at 7 pm.

Secondly

, the food was very delicious which felt like a home dinner as he likes pizza and sandwiches.

In addition

, we will play video games after dinner and enjoy dancing to our favourite music.

Therefore

, you will come one hour ahead so that we can make a handmade gift for Jaideep.

Moreover

, please bring your colours so that we can make a birthday card as you are very good at drawing. We will meet at the party. Warm wishes, Love

Submitted by tajinder.panag on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea. While you've made a good attempt, the second paragraph could be split to separate the details of the venue from the plans at the party for greater clarity.

Task Achievement

The response completes the task with relevant details about the reason for the party, the date and time, and suggestions for what to bring. To improve, make sure to create a more explicit invitation and use bullet points or enumeration to present details in a clearer, more organized manner, which is expected at higher band levels.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

171 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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