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Band 3

the amount of shops that closed and opened since 2011 until 2018

#amount #shops
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The picture illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of shops that closed and opened
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2011 until 2018. As we can see, the
overall
 patterns remained the same between the
closures
 and
openings
 numbers, with little differences. Both
closures
 and
openings
 numbers were decreased in 2012 and 2015.
However
, the lowest
number
 was by the
closures
 in 2015, with only 1000 at the time.
This
 amount was an extreme change from other years which showed the range of
closures
 numbers from 5000-7200, which means 4000-6200
closures
 different from the other years.
Although
 closure's lowest point showed an extreme change, the opening's minimum point was only about 1000 different from the year before.
Hence
, it showed that the fluctuation wasn't as great as the
closures
. The maximum
number
 was shown by the shop
openings
 in 2011. It reached about 8500
openings
, which differ by about 1000 from the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
maximum
number
 of
closures
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2013.
Submitted by writing9bersama on

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Task Achievement
To further support your main points, incorporate specific examples and data wherever possible. This helps to clarify and strengthen your arguments. Refer back to the essay prompt and ensure your examples are directly relevant to the topic being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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