IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Whether it is possible to take a vacation from your problems.

#vacation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree that it is possible to take a
vacation
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 from your
problems
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.
Life
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 has been countlessly proven to be too short considering the undisputable fact that tomorrow is not promised to anyone;
Problems
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on the other hand
Linking Words
 are unpredictable and will always arise. If I spend all my
life
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 solving
problems
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, the very purpose of my existence which is anchored on love and happiness might never be achieved. I can't afford not to achieve my dreams;
therefore
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 it is very important to take a
vacation
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 from unavoidable
life
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's distractions like
problems
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, and just live for a moment. In most situations, an actual solution to the most pressing of all the
problems
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 of
life
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 could be figured out when
one
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 takes a time-out and finds true peace in
self
Correct your spelling
oneself
show examples
.
According to
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 the ancient wisdom of Toa Te Ching (The Book of the Way written by Chinese Sage Lao Tzu) "Fill yourself with utmost emptiness.
Emrace
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Embrace
 internal
tranquility
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tranquillity
show examples
. The ten thousand things, see how they arise and flow around you; each
one
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 coming into being, growing and adapting, changing,
fulfuling
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fulfilling
,
then
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 returning to the source as you sit in stillness in the
center
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centre
show examples
 of it all, watching and figuring out the next couple of steps. The Sage supports the train of
thoughts
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thought
show examples
 that
problems
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 are unpredictable and unavoidable, but
life
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 must go on. A
vacation
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 away from the
problems
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 might just be all I need to find true clarity in, if not all, at least the very first steps to finding a solution.
In addition
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 to that, the adverse
health
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implicatons
Correct your spelling
implications
 of incessant worrying over
problems
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 of
life
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 should be a factor to consider when arguing the possibility of taking a
vacation
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 from your
problems
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. Incessant worrying has been proven by medical
esperts
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experts
 to be a contributing; and
on
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in
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 the long run, a predisposing factor to medical conditions
such
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 as anxiety disorder, insomnia and even cardiovascular disease like hypertension.
This
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 calls to memory the popular
Use synonyms
health-tip
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health tip
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 which states that "if it affects my
health
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,
then
Linking Words
 it is too high a price to pay". My
health
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 is a priority, so if taking a
vacation
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 from my
problems
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 even remotely improves my
health
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,
then
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that is
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 the absolute right decision to make. In conclusion,
problems
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 are unavoidable but they should not dictate the pace of the other aspects of
life
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. There will always come a solution to that problem but
one
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 needs to be in a position of absolute peace of mind to figure out how to navigate
life
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problems
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 efficiently. If a
vacation
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 can bring a person to that
swift-spot
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swift spot
show examples
 of absolute clarity and peace of mind, that could help
one
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 figure out the right steps forward;
then
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 by all means necessary, I recommend that it is possible to take a
vacation
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 from your
problems
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, with the conscious intention of finding your way forward.
Submitted by okeruluchioma2 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a clear structure. Start with an introduction, follow with body paragraphs supporting your thesis, and conclude with a summary of your points and a restatement of your position. This will help in maintaining a logical flow and coherence throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. This assists in achieving better coherence across your essay. Additionally, use linking words and transitions between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay provides a clear answer to the question posed and that all your points are directly relevant to the topic. Expanding on your ideas with specific examples will strengthen your argument and help you achieve a higher score in task response.
task achievement
To enhance the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas, make sure to develop each point thoroughly. Include explanations, examples, or evidence for each of your main points. This will also contribute to a more complete and well-rounded response to the task.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. This not only demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic but also makes your essay more engaging and convincing. Try to use examples from recognized sources or personal experiences that directly relate to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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