All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?
Every
vehicle
that using
gasoline should not be allowed and replaced by Wrong verb form
uses
cars
with green energy
.
I completely agree with this
opinion because electric cars
will help for better environment
and reduce diseases that
caused by Correct pronoun usage
apply
pollution
which
spread by conventional Correct pronoun usage
apply
cars
.
Electric
Add an article
The electric
An electric
vehicle
provides plenty of fruitful benefits for instance
in this
case environmentally
Change the word
environmental
issue
. If Fix the agreement mistake
issues
people
no longer use fossil fuels as cars
’ energy
it would be beneficial to our environment
, while
using green energy
, the emissions that
released by Correct pronoun usage
apply
cars
will drop sharply.
Fresh air
was
Wrong verb form
is
the
vital aspect of Correct article usage
a
human
to live, by using Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Add an article
a car
the car
car
with green Fix the agreement mistake
cars
energy
will reduce the
Correct article usage
apply
pollution
significantly so that the air
will breathable
for Add a missing verb
be breathable
people
.
In some countries in Europe
Add a comma
Europe,
cars
with fossil fuel
have gradually been banned and the Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
environment
in Europe is
Verb problem
has
becoming
better in recent Wrong verb form
become
year
, Fix the agreement mistake
years
rate
of Correct article usage
the rate
pollution
has also
diminish
sharply.
Change the verb form
diminished
Pollution
that
emitted by conventional Correct pronoun usage
apply
vehicle
has Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
been
emerged Unnecessary verb
apply
various
diseases, because fossil fuel Change preposition
from various
cars
released
Wrong verb form
release
pollution
, people
Correct word choice
and people
breathing
hazardous Wrong verb form
breathe
air
that contain by
Change preposition
in
toxic
. Acute Respiratory Infection (ARI) Replace the word
toxins
was
a major problem in a country Wrong verb form
is
which
conventional Correct word choice
where
cars user
Fix the agreement mistake
car users
is
high, dirty Unnecessary verb
apply
air
that
inhaled by Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
leading to severely
ARI disease.
Not only physical illness but Change the word
severe
also
mental illness become a concern by
Change preposition
for
vast
majority of Add an article
the vast
people
, many people
feel depressed because of the filthy air
.
In Jakarta
as a metropolitan there were millions Add a comma
Jakarta,
people
live and every single person Change preposition
of people
use
conventional Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
and
Correct word choice
apply
as a result
many citizens that
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
severe Correct article usage
apply
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as ARI and mental illness because they inhale the
extremely dirty Correct article usage
apply
air
.
In conclusion
I totally agree that Add a comma
conclusion,
cars
with fossil fuel
should be banned and replaced by green Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
energy
vehicle
to protect our Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
environment
and make people
Change noun form
people's
life
better and healthier. Conventional Fix the agreement mistake
lives
vehicle
provides too much
drawbacks Change the quantifier
many
while
electric car offers fruitful benefits and the impact will bigger
later in life.Add a missing verb
be bigger
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coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Start with a strong introduction that presents your viewpoint, followed by paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea with clear topic sentences. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve the introduction and conclusion presence, make sure that your essay begins with a clear statement of your opinion on the topic and ends with a summarization of your key points and a restatement of your viewpoint. This structure will make your essay more engaging and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with a wider variety of specific examples and evidence. This could include statistics, studies, or real-world examples that further illustrate your arguments. Doing so will strengthen your essay and make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully by ensuring that your essay not only presents a clear viewpoint but also thoroughly discusses the reasons behind your opinion. Include more detailed explanations and examples to make your ideas both clear and comprehensive.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to clearly express complex ideas and arguments. This will help make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Examples that are directly related to the benefits of electric vehicles and the drawbacks of fossil fuel cars will make your arguments more compelling and grounded in reality.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.