Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
thinks
that rebuilding Change the verb form
think
old
building or Correct article usage
an old
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
money
to reconstruct Correct article usage
an old
old age
Add a hyphen
old-age
household
structure is very
good choice to invest Add an article
a very
money
. But in my opinion
am fully Disagree with the statement. In the forthcoming Add a comma
opinion,
paragraph
I explain why investing Add a comma
paragraph,
money
is not beneficial for our environment
and for people
.
I believe that investing money
on
condemned Change preposition
in
structure
or rebuilding or Fix the agreement mistake
structures
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
instead
is waste
of time and Correct article usage
a waste
money
. Because rebuilding
or Correct word choice
Rebuilding
reconstruct
old age Wrong verb form
reconstructing
household
is time taking as compared to Fix the agreement mistake
households
buy directly
new modern Wrong verb form
buying
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
.
Rephrase
directly.
For
instance
if someone Add a comma
instance,
rebuild
Change the verb form
rebuilds
the
old age structure it Correct article usage
an
probable
Change the word
probably
led
down Wrong verb form
leads
in
Change preposition
to
construction
stage and again rebuild very tame taking and Correct article usage
the construction
wastage
of Replace the word
waste
money
.
On the other
hand
if we talk about Add a comma
hand,
rebuild
our heritage weather our Wrong verb form
rebuilding
household
is very useful to save our past life memories and also
save our environment
because some place or buildings and there
nearby Replace the word
their
area
is
connect with our deep soul. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
people
not familiar with the area
and surrounding environment
if they move in
Change preposition
into
new
modern construction Correct article usage
a new
household
building they feel uncomfortable with surrounding
Add an article
the surrounding
area
also
the
with the Correct article usage
apply
neighbour
. Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
also
taking very crucial rule for our environment
because if people
buy new area
to construct new modern Fix the agreement mistake
areas
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
then
its make them harm to
our Change preposition
apply
environment
then
directly to us. Rephrase
apply
For
instance
if buy more new land Add a comma
instance,
then
we
cut down more Correct pronoun usage
apply
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
then
if
directly Correct your spelling
it
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
on
our Change preposition
apply
environment
then
also
on
us.
in Change preposition
apply
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
i
believe if we reconstruct our old building Change the capitalization
I
then
its
can save our Correct pronoun usage
it
money
or
and Correct word choice
apply
environment
because the old is gold.Add an article
the environment
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Task Achievement
Consider structuring your essay more clearly to enhance your argument. Start with an introduction that clearly states your stance, followed by body paragraphs each addressing a specific point, and conclude with a summary of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Work on developing comprehensive and clear ideas to strengthen your argument. Avoid broad statements; instead, use detailed examples and clear reasoning to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve your logical structure by arranging your ideas in a logical sequence. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point that supports your overall stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay to read more smoothly and enhance its coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay’s clarity and persuasiveness, ensure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and clearly present your point of view. Your conclusion should effectively summarize your argument without introducing new information.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite