Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that rebuilding
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
building or
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
money
to reconstruct
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
old age
Add a hyphen
old-age
show examples
household
structure is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
good choice to invest
money
. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
am fully Disagree with the statement. In the forthcoming
paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
show examples
I explain why investing
money
is not beneficial for our
environment
and for
people
. I believe that investing
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
condemned
structure
Fix the agreement mistake
structures
show examples
or rebuilding or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
instead
is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time and
money
.
Because rebuilding
Correct word choice
Rebuilding
show examples
or
reconstruct
Wrong verb form
reconstructing
show examples
old age
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
is time taking as compared to
buy directly
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
new modern
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.
Rephrase
directly.
show examples
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
if someone
rebuild
Change the verb form
rebuilds
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
old age structure it
probable
Change the word
probably
show examples
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
down
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
stage and again rebuild very tame taking and
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
of
money
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
if we talk about
rebuild
Wrong verb form
rebuilding
show examples
our heritage weather our
household
is very useful to save our past life memories and
also
save our
environment
because some place or buildings and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
nearby
area
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
connect with our deep soul.
For example
people
not familiar with the
area
and surrounding
environment
if they move
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
modern construction
household
building they feel uncomfortable with
surrounding
Add an article
the surrounding
show examples
area
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
with the
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
also
taking very crucial rule for our
environment
because if
people
buy new
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
to construct new modern
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
then
its make them harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
environment
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
directly to us.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
if buy more new land
then
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cut down more
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
then
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
directly
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
environment
then
also
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us. in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe if we reconstruct our old building
then
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can save our
money
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
because the old is gold.
Submitted by sanjayrajput2163 on

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Task Achievement
Consider structuring your essay more clearly to enhance your argument. Start with an introduction that clearly states your stance, followed by body paragraphs each addressing a specific point, and conclude with a summary of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Work on developing comprehensive and clear ideas to strengthen your argument. Avoid broad statements; instead, use detailed examples and clear reasoning to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve your logical structure by arranging your ideas in a logical sequence. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point that supports your overall stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay to read more smoothly and enhance its coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay’s clarity and persuasiveness, ensure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and clearly present your point of view. Your conclusion should effectively summarize your argument without introducing new information.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
What to do next:
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