IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a plethora of
countries
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 are focusing on increasing domestic
food
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 production in order to reduce their reliance on imports. In my view, I disagree with
this
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 approach, because the conditions of each
country
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 are different some
countries
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 face agricultural problems.
Thus
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this
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 essay will elaborate on both sides of view in the following paragraph.
Firstly
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, in some
countries
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, there is a lack of agricultural qualities
such
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 as the soil, water or landscape of the
country
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.
Therefore
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, it doesn't have sufficient results to produce
food
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 for all populations which encourages to import of
food
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 from other
countries
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.
For example
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, in Singapore, they import
food
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 from every
country
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 around the world
also
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 fresh ingredients from the SEA because there are only 3% of the whole
country
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 produces the foods.
Moreover
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, Singapore must pay import tax on
food
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 in high cost of
food
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 for an inadequate population.
Secondly
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, a tax on imported
food
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 is part of stimulating the
country
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's economy. In fact, a variety of
countries
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 add the value of the ingredient for exporting it at an expensive price;
in particular
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, in Japan, the iconic
food
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 of the
countries
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 is Matsusaka wagyu which is a luxury ingredient
thus
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 Japan can export
this
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 beef at an expensive price.
Hence
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, exporting
food
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 for sale around the world is
therefore
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 part of the way to stimulate the economy. In conclusion, manufacturing
food
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 for all citizens depends on the conditions of each
country
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 because every
country
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 has different locations which is essential for agriculture. Even producing
food
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 in the
country
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 itself will be an advantage for the
country
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 because ,
in addition
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 to being able to produce for the people in the
country
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, it can
also
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 be exported to stimulate the
country
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's economy.

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Task Response
Ensure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and emphasize it throughout the essay. A more definitive stance on your agreement or disagreement can enhance your task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your paragraph structure, using more clear topic sentences for each paragraph which can help in logically connecting your ideas together more smoothly.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as Singapore and Japan, which effectively support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps to frame your argument overall.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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