The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, anomake comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, anomake comparisons where relevant.
The total retail outlets that were newly run and bankrupt, which were completely recorded from 2011 to 2018, were presented in the line graph.
Overall
, it was noticeable that the former and the latter significantly showed a different pattern until the end of the period.
In addition
, the number of old shops closed was lower in 2018 than the new stores. In 2001, the number of new stores initiated was over 8,000 units, which was one-third of the closure of retail. In the following three years, the startup businesses went downhill to below 4,000 before their number rocketed, accounting for the 6,000 level. Meanwhile, the ladder fluctuated and
finally
landed at 6,200 points.
Moreover
, the same as the former, the bankruptcy of retail dropped almost to zero in 2015,
while
the young stores
also
declined slightly to 4,000. Surprisingly, the ladder tended to enhance considerably, reaching over five thousand;
in contrast
, the opponents only grew up minimally by 0.1% in 2016.
Finally
, in the
last
two years, they ended up in different spots, and the former was superior to the ladder, 5,100 versus 3,000.
Submitted by soniandriawan1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: