Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Music

has become

popular

Correct article usage

a popular

show examples

leisure

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

throughout the world. It is believed by many

people

that

music

Plays a vital role

to keep

Change preposition

in keeping

show examples

in touch between

multiculture

Correct your spelling

multicultural

multi culture

multi-culture

and multi ages

people

. I completely agree with the statement because it helps

Correct pronoun usage

us to

show examples

Cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with various

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

and it is very close to our

heart

Fix the agreement mistake

hearts

show examples

Music

is the key factor

to become

Change preposition

in becoming

show examples

adopted

Change preposition

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

Multiple cultures.

Who

Correct pronoun usage

Those who

show examples

are passionate

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

songs

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

only addicted

with

Change preposition

show examples

local songs but

also

love to enjoy singers from other languages.

This

interest

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

a person to know

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

and cons

about

Change preposition

show examples

that new

culture

, which creates friendship among pupils who

haves

Correct your spelling

have

show examples

similar types of

taste

Fix the agreement mistake

tastes

show examples

For example

people

around the world participate

Change preposition

in concerts

show examples

concerts

Change preposition

in concerts

show examples

for their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

bands and

this

Fix the agreement mistake

type

show examples

types

Fix the agreement mistake

type

show examples

event

Add an article

the event

show examples

give

Verb problem

allows

show examples

everyone to make new friends and

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

opportunities to come into contact with a variety of cultures.

Sound

Correct article usage

The sound

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

music

is very close to

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

heart and they become very emotional for their

loving

Replace the word

loved

show examples

one. It helps to remove any

kinds

Fix the agreement mistake

kind

show examples

of bad

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

for anyone, which makes it possible to create close

bonding

Fix the agreement mistake

bonds

show examples

with many

people

Music

lovers around the globe hold similar type

thought

Fix the agreement mistake

thoughts

show examples

among themselves and follow similar

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of ideology, which is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another reason to have

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

tie up

Add a hyphen

tie-up

show examples

For example

, Pop

bands

Fix the agreement mistake

band

show examples

followers have their own community

maintain

Correct word choice

and maintain

show examples

regular contact among themselves.

To conclude

, I believe that

music

is an effective way to break the chain of

culture

and

ages

Change the noun form

age

show examples

Variation by knowing about

culture

and strong

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

Submitted by mokaddamul on Sat Mar 09 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. While you agree with the statement, providing more diversified arguments and directly linking your examples to how music brings cultures and ages together would strengthen your position.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, it's important to organize your essay more logically. Start with a clear introductory paragraph that outlines your main points. Follow this with body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea, linking back to the thesis. Use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Conclude with a summary of your argument and restate your thesis in a new way.

coherence cohesion

To provide more supported main points, incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence showing how music can bridge cultural and generational gaps. Personal anecdotes, global events, or historical instances of music fostering unity could make your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?