Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Music
has become popular
leisure Correct article usage
a popular
activities
throughout the world. It is believed by many Fix the agreement mistake
activity
people
that music
Plays a vital role to keep
in touch between Change preposition
in keeping
multiculture
and multi ages Correct your spelling
multicultural
multi culture
multi-culture
people
. I completely agree with the statement because it helps to
Cope Correct pronoun usage
us to
up
with various Change preposition
apply
culture
and it is very close to our Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
heart
.
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
Music
is the key factor to become
adopted Change preposition
in becoming
Change preposition
by
with
Multiple cultures. Change preposition
by
Who
are passionate Correct pronoun usage
Those who
with
songs Change preposition
about
not
only addicted Add a missing verb
are not
with
local songs but Change preposition
to
also
love to enjoy singers from other languages. This
interest lead
a person to know Change the verb form
leads
pros
and cons Correct article usage
the pros
about
that new Change preposition
of
culture
, which creates friendship among pupils who haves
similar types of Correct your spelling
have
taste
. Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
For example
, people
around the world participate Change preposition
in concerts
concerts
for their Change preposition
in concerts
favorite
bands and Change the spelling
favourite
this
Fix the agreement mistake
type
types
of Fix the agreement mistake
type
event
Add an article
the event
give
everyone to make new friends and Verb problem
allows
create
opportunities to come into contact with a variety of cultures.
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
Sound
of Correct article usage
The sound
a
Remove the article
apply
music
is very close to human
heart and they become very emotional for their Add an article
the human
loving
one. It helps to remove any Replace the word
loved
kinds
of bad Fix the agreement mistake
kind
feeling
for anyone, which makes it possible to create close Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
bonding
with many Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
people
. Music
lovers around the globe hold similar type thought
among themselves and follow similar Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
type
of ideology, which is Fix the agreement mistake
types
an
another reason to have Remove the article
apply
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
tie up
. Add a hyphen
tie-up
For example
, Pop bands
followers have their own community Fix the agreement mistake
band
maintain
regular contact among themselves.
Correct word choice
and maintain
To conclude
, I believe that music
is an effective way to break the chain of culture
and ages
Variation by knowing about Change the noun form
age
culture
and strong feeling
.Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. While you agree with the statement, providing more diversified arguments and directly linking your examples to how music brings cultures and ages together would strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, it's important to organize your essay more logically. Start with a clear introductory paragraph that outlines your main points. Follow this with body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea, linking back to the thesis. Use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Conclude with a summary of your argument and restate your thesis in a new way.
coherence cohesion
To provide more supported main points, incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence showing how music can bridge cultural and generational gaps. Personal anecdotes, global events, or historical instances of music fostering unity could make your argument more compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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