Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The number of
crimes
has increased significantly in the last
century to the point that citizens are concerned about the level of safety outside their home
.Some people believe that governments should take action to prevent or even minimise Fix the agreement mistake
homes
this
phenomenon.While
others believe that there is not much effective solution , unfortunately.I believe that the government can solve this
phenomenon by increasing the awareness of committing such
unpleasant actions
.
Although
most countries are trying to decrease the number of crimes
committed in the nation, but have not found an effective solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an effective solution
effective solutions
this
moment.Change preposition
at this
However
, governments considered increasing the punishment for crime may solve the problem in the short term but eventually, it will rise again because it is Correct article usage
a atemporary
atemporary
solution.Correct your spelling
contemporary
For example
, in 2006 United States experienced a major growth in crimes
.Therefore
, they raised the sentence of unpleasant actions
such
as stealing and killing and it decreased for a short time intel it was exploited again in 2006.
On the other hand
, one of the main reasons why some countries do not have these actions
as much as other countries is the culture.Moreover
, the awareness and consciousness in those populations are higher and more supported than in most of the world.For example
, in Japan, the percentage of crimes
is much lower compared to most of the world.Although
, in ancient times they were higher with time and investment in the citizens
physical condition they overcame these struggles.
In conclusion, Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
crimes
have become more prevalent recently as the more evolved the country the fewer crimes
and unpleasant actions
occur in it.Submitted by ameralimise3 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to eliminate inconsistencies in your argumentation. For example, the sentence about the United States mentions a growth in crimes without a clear explanation of the long-term results of increasing punishments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly and directly supports your main thesis. In your essay, the connection between cultural aspects and crime prevention, such as in Japan, could be more clearly linked to your main argument about awareness and education.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to substantiate your points, especially when discussing short-term versus long-term solutions to crime. This will strengthen your essay and contribute to a more compelling argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic effectively, providing a clear viewpoint and acknowledging opposing perspectives.
task achievement
You have appropriately addressed both views on the issue of crime prevention, showing an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the opinion clearly, providing a sense of closure to the essay.