Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?
Over the recent
years
there has been Add a comma
years,
enormous
increase of deaths even if the disease is curable because some individuals cannot afford the essential Add an article
an enormous
medication
. One solution could be reducing the prices of the
drugs so that everyone can afford them. Correct article usage
apply
Although
there are arguments on both side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
but
I strongly believe that reducing the rates of the Remove the conjunction
apply
medication
is definitely a positive approach.
There are more number of
convincing arguments that Correct quantifier usage
apply
states
there are Fix the agreement mistake
state
people
who still believe in humanity and would like to contribute in
the Change preposition
to
well being
of their community. Add a hyphen
well-being
In addition
, drug manufacturing companies would not have major consequences on their profit rates if they can
contribute a small portion towards providing subsidized rates to the needful mankind. Not only Wrong verb form
could
this
, If government
can recognize the Add an article
the government
people
fighting to survive in
Change preposition
apply
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
disease
and give them discounts on their Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
prescription
during the treatment Fix the agreement mistake
prescriptions
then
majority
of the problem can be handled. Add an article
the majority
a majority
For instance
, in 2023 a renowned medicine industry in India used their
profits to provide free Correct pronoun usage
its
medication
to the
cancer institutions all over the country which helped more than 50,000 Correct article usage
apply
people
. Thus
, programs like these are greatly appreciated.
On the other side
there are some adverse usage of Add a comma
side,
medication
that can be seen in some parts of our society such
as wrongful use of drugs as source
of getting high Add an article
a source
due to
its easy availability. Although even
when the price is reduced by the manufacturers, the local suppliers are putting markup on top to maximise their selling price which leads to common Correct word choice
Even
people
again receiving the medication
on
Change preposition
at
same
cost. Change the article
the same
Therefore
, drug companies cannot change the situation alone.
To conclude
, it is evident that drug companies can start the process of reducing cost
of the Add an article
the cost
medication
to save lives but it is the responsibility of the
society to play fair practices so that Correct article usage
apply
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
can die due to
medication
unavailability.Submitted by sanjeetkaursandhu on
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task achievement
Expand on your argument by providing more specific examples and data to support your points. The inclusion of an example from India was effective, but additional, varied examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you clearly address all parts of the task. Consider both the potential benefits and drawbacks of your proposed solution in equal measure to provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve your essay’s structure by adding more clear paragraph divisions and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies in argument points. Paying attention to detail can improve the essay's overall clarity and impact.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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