IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

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In the contemporary era,
technology
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
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 become an essential part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. as
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 has a numerous advantage.
However
Linking Words
, a number of
people
Use synonyms
 say
online
Add an article
the online
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 web has some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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 to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
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in
safety
Add an article
the safety
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 of data. I do partially agree with the given statement, and I will supportively point in
this
Linking Words
 easy area that
people
Use synonyms
 are living in the modern era, which is equipped with
high- edge
Correct your spelling
high-edge
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.so
Correct your spelling
so
nowadays almost
people
Use synonyms
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the net with their own devices.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
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 money
people
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 believe
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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 of using online
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 flexibility of our
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 to make easier our education.
The
Correct your spelling
They
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 provide, allowing students to set their schedules as
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 want. So,
this
Linking Words
 flexibility includes the ability attend to the class from anywhere in and to suit a busy schedule
any
Change preposition
at any
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 time.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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 it can help them to manage
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 time .
for instance
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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some
of
Change preposition
apply
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students
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to support of families during the education system, more Ove, nowadays,
Replace the word
technological
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technology
Use synonyms
 development
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it easier to access flexibility
such
Linking Words
 as
net
Add an article
the net
show examples
. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 hand , there are some important arguments that confirm
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 some data
breach
Fix the agreement mistake
breaches
show examples
. Because some
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
is
Verb problem
do
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 not rely
so s
Change preposition
on
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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For instance
Linking Words
 most
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
 use
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bank
Add an article
a bank
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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since of
Change preposition
due to
show examples
Use synonyms
Replace the word
technological
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technology
Replace the word
technological
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 advancement
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 put their information
Change preposition
on
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in
Change preposition
on
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 their identity
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
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card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
Correct word choice
apply
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if
Correct word choice
apply
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the fraudster
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
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know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
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 their date it will
easy
Add a missing verb
be easy
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 for
the
Correct your spelling
them
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 to hack
Correct pronoun usage
their account
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account
Correct pronoun usage
their account
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 and steal their money .
therefore
Linking Words
 the cause of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has a particular downside.
To sum
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up
Add a comma
up,
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 modern
technology
Use synonyms
 has
play
Change the verb form
played
show examples
 a vital
rule
Correct your spelling
role
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 in daily life. It has positive pors in our cyberspaces of education
however
Linking Words
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
has
Verb problem
are
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 some
trace
Fix the agreement mistake
traces
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 prohibition
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using
web
Add an article
the web
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as data problem

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay clearly with introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose: introducing the topic, presenting arguments, and summarizing your stance.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. This helps in making your essay more readable and structured.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position regarding the statement given. This helps in guiding the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Rather than simply stating a problem or advantage, illustrate it with a concrete example. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
overall writing
Check your writing for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. This will help in making your essay more professional and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of the coherence in your arguments. Ensure that your points logically follow each other and that there is a seamless flow in your writing.
overall writing
Expand your vocabulary to accurately express your views and arguments. Avoid repetition by knowing more synonyms and academic phrases.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
What to do next:
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