“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some
people
believe that if the
crime
is more serious, prison is
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
punishments
Fix the agreement mistake
punishment
show examples
. In my opinion, I agree with
this
message because
created
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creates
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confident
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confidence
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situations and I will explain
this
below. Nowadays,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
offenders
Correct quantifier usage
number of offenders
show examples
every year cause citizens
concern
Correct subject-verb agreement
concerns
show examples
safer
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about safer
show examples
, the
mainly
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main
show examples
cause is drug
problem
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problems
show examples
are rising
while
Correct word choice
that
show examples
governments cannot control,
for example
, in Thailand, the weeds are
delated
Correct your spelling
deleted
show examples
from addiction substance lists and reform to medicine in treatments patient that
people
can purchase if the shops have licensed to sell, we can see many shops are selling weeds in the cities, at the result some
people
that lack
of
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apply
show examples
educated and did not how to right use
are
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are relied
are relying
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rely
Add the preposition
rely on
rely upon
show examples
addiction and wanted money to buy so, criminal in the communities.
Moreover
,
age
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the age
show examples
of offenders is reducing because children are influenced form violent games with imitate
it
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them
show examples
, without
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the supervise
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supervise
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supervision
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of parents, so not able to
distinguishing
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distinguish
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what
virtual
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is virtual
show examples
or
no
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not
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virtual
thus
,
stimulated
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stimulating
show examples
child criminals increasingly. so, governments should manage to
problem
children to first priority.
In
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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side, offenders should be punished to
deters
Wrong verb form
deter
show examples
crime
. police must prevent
crime
and make communities safer by increasing in number of police officers on the streets, particularly, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night. Some criminals pose a threat to society, they should
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
in prison to ensure
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
safer.
Additionally
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
another aim of prisoners is
rehabilitation
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a rehabilitation
show examples
by receiving education and vocational training to make them better citizens before
leave
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leaving
show examples
for
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to
show examples
prevent re-offenders. In conclusion, punishment is
best
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the best
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ways
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way
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to
resolved
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resolve
show examples
problem
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problems
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and
deters
Correct subject-verb agreement
deter
show examples
crime
.
Nevertheless
, The state should
serious
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be serious
show examples
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
social
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and review addiction laws before crisis
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
in the future.
Submitted by chompoo34888 on

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Task Response
Develop a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the essay topic and clarify your stance on prison as a form of punishment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively with clear paragraphs, each starting with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your coherence by ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one to another, using linking words and phrases appropriately.
Task Response
Support your main points with more concrete examples or evidence, ensuring they directly relate to the question prompt.
Task Response
Be sure to restate your thesis and summarize your main points in the conclusion, linking it clearly to the question prompt for a strong finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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