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Band 2.5

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The given charts give the information about
proportion
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 who owned
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 from 2002 to 2010. It
also
 shows the
percentage
 of
people
 owning
ownship
Correct your spelling
ownership
township
 by their study levels from 2002 to 2010. After analyzing the charts, it is clearly evident that the
proportion
 of individuals
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 Personal
Computers
(PC) has increased steadily over a period of years.
Moreover
,
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of
people
 with higher education own
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 than the
people
 who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
 level of education.
Further
 study of the data shows that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of postgraduates stepped up by around 15% from approximately 78% to 93%.
Whereas
 those with graduate degrees
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased drastically from nearly 70% to 90% during the years 2002 to 2010.
However
,the others with education less than
Correct article usage
a batchelor’s
show examples
batchelor’s
Correct your spelling
bachelor’s
 degree have seen
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 increase of approximately 25%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2002 and 2010.
People
 who couldn’t complete college but bought
computers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 increased from nearly 58% to 83%.
Similarly
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of high school graduate owners of
computers
raised
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 from
approx
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
 38% to 63%. The lowest
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all was the
percentage
 of
people
 with no high school diploma.
However
,their
percentage
 has increased substantially from around 12% to 41%. When it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of individuals owning
computers
, the number increased approximately 4% every two years from 2002 to 2010. The
percentage
 was nearly 58% in 2002 which surged to around 78% in 2010
Submitted by nidhi.neil on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Consider starting with a clear introduction that provides a brief overview of the charts' main themes before diving into the detailed analysis. This helps guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
Paragraph Structure
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific examples from the charts. This structure makes it easier for the reader to follow your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of connectives to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'in addition,' 'moreover,' and 'however,' when used appropriately, can help tie your points together more cohesively.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Discuss all the key features presented in the charts, including any trends, comparisons or significant data points, to achieve a high task achievement score.
Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure you provide a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. This helps to reinforce your analysis and leaves the reader with a strong understanding of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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