Adults do very less Exercise these days .Some people think that showing sporting events on television such as Olympics and world cup tournaments can be the best way to encourage adults to do exercise , others believe there are other effective ways to do so. Discuss both views and state your opinion
According to
less exercise
in middle-aged people
, many individuals believe there are a number of sports
competition events
broadcasted on television,such
as the Olympics and the football World Cup, which could provoke the group of people
to take care of themselves by doing more exercise
. Nevertheless
, some argue that there are other productive approaches encouraging them. I also
believe that other ways might effectively encourage including sports
games broadcasting in tandem.
Generally,publishing the sports
competition through the broadcasting channel,particularly on television,has been continuing for a number of decades. People
might consume them for a variety of individual purposes. For example
, some may watch for entertainment as that is
a kind of favourite activity to do in leisure time. On the other hand
, some might watch them on other objectives such
as demanding a more strong objective from successful athletes in order to adapt to one's daily lifestyle. As a result
, this
method might impact one who has an obvious inspiration to take care of health
.
Even though the sports
events
' broadcasting might be beneficial to individual aspects of exercise
. There are still a plethora of inspiring approaches or methods stimulating healthy habits at this
age. To exemplify this
statement, governments should be involved in creating inspiring campaigns or events
to educate how the Middle Ages could take care of themselves well. In addition
,a campaign of free health
checks might be annually held for adults,which might considerably assist this
group of people
to be aware of individuals' health
. Moreover
,there are many aerobic dancing events
in parks by a group of people
who are interested in this
kind of dancing in case of Thailand's real example.
To conclude
, showing sports
games on television might be advantageous for exercise
perspectives and other productive approaches previously mentioned could also
bring about more benefits along with
awareness of being healthy. However
, I believe that both strategies should go on in tandem for an effective consequence of adults' health
in the long term.Submitted by phanphetpor on
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Vocabulary
Consider using more specific and varied vocabulary to articulate your points more precisely.
Grammar
Try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes such as “very less.” Instead, use “very little” or “much less.”
Coherence
Ensure logical coherence between sentences; some transitions seem abrupt.
Details
Expand more on your examples to give a clearer picture.
Task Response
You have made a clear distinction between the two views and have supported your opinion well.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively frame the essay.
Content Coverage
Your essay covers multiple perspectives and provides reasonable examples.