IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #generations #implications #phenomenon
Most of the public
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that the citizens who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
this
generation
 are like to survive longer
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 than the past
generation
people
. I strongly agree with the statement that
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
generation
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
like
Replace the word
likes
show examples
 to live more amount of time because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are more cautious about
food
 and
diet
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
. On the other part,
people
 from past
era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras
show examples
 are not aware of
food
 consumption
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 and
other nutrition area
Change the wording
another nutrition area
other nutrition areas
show examples
. So, I will about both the positive and
negivative
Correct your spelling
negative
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of
this
 topic. Starting from the positive point of view, In
this
 era,
people
 are more aware of
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
, and nutrition balance of the body, which helps them to stay fit and healthy, and not only
limtied
Correct your spelling
limited
 to that, they
are
Change the verb form
are also doing
show examples
also
 do some regular physical
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 to burn their excess calories. In order to improve their body muscle.
In addition
, when they are
control
Change preposition
in control
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
food
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, it automatically helps them to promote mental
health
.
For example
, most of the scientists found that
people
 are consuming their
food
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 quantity.
As a result
, it makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
fit and they can do their
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 easily.
On the other hand
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the previous
generation
, they are two
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of groups, who are aware and not aware of
health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. The
people
 who are cautious about
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
 are like to live under
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
 line, which
were
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
 hard for them to buy
nescessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 goods
such
 as
furits
Correct your spelling
fruits
, vegetables and other
food
 categories. On the other side,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 who are not aware of
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
maintainences
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 program, are like consume a tremendous quantity of
food
, which leads to obesity, and
health
 diseases.
For example
, most of the experts said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 who are in the state of obesity are easily affected by cancer, which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to death. In conclusion, in
this
 world, we can see both the
people
 who
are know
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 about
diet
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 and
not
Correct determiner usage
those not
show examples
 aware of
diet
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 but their situation
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. In my opinion, I suggest to the public to make
diet
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
 on their own with the help of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, which
modify
Change the verb form
modifies
show examples
 them to be fit.
Submitted by jeevesh001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Consider organizing your essay more effectively by having clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific idea or argument, enhancing the logical flow of information.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure there is an evident introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should more clearly outline the points you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your arguments, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
supported main points
Expand upon your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help strengthen your arguments and provide clearer insight into your perspective.
complete response
Fully address the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative implications in balanced detail. Make sure your response remains focused and directly relates back to the question asked.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on formulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Try to stay focused on the topic and avoid diverting into unrelated or vague statements.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will provide evidence for your claims and make your essay more persuasive and informative.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: