You have recently visited a local school in your community. It needs people who can help renovate the building and also do other jobs. Write a letter to the principal of the school and say: - how would you be able to help? - When and why would you do it? - Who will help you to do it?
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to inform you that I can help you with renovating the building and other work.
Last
week, I went to your school for a meeting with a teacher to discuss about my daughter. As I
heard from the teacher "Sam", you want to renovate the main building. I can help you. Before I explain why I would do it, I can give some information about how can I help you. My major is architecture and I have been working at S architecture company for 5 years. I have plenty of experience of changing wallpaper and windows which you want to change.
What's more, as I heard from the teacher you need to renovate the building during the upcoming summer vacation. Fortunately, I can start it that day. Moreover
, the reason why I would do it, my daughter is a student at this
school. I want to make a good environment to study for her.
I asked my coworker "Mr, Kim" to help me and he agreed it. We will renovate it together. It will take 2 months to finish the renovate the main building. Before we start it, I strongly request to you. Please make sure to install a warning stall in front of the building to prevent accidents.
If you have any questions or more information from me, do not hesitate to send me an e-mail. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Hwiju Jin.Submitted by gnlwnww on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Tone Consistency
Address the recipient more personally if possible, or maintain a formal tone consistently throughout. Mixing 'Dear Sir or Madam,' with an informal tone in the body can seem mismatched.
Detail Enhancement
Clarify details about the renovation plans, such as specific dates for commencement and completion, and any particular areas of expertise you can contribute beyond what's mentioned.
Sentence Variety
While your greeting and closing are appropriately formal, you could vary your sentence structure more to enhance readability and engagement.
Contact Information Emphasis
It's great that you're offering your help voluntarily, but mentioning how the school can contact you for further discussions (even though it's briefly touched upon at the end) should be emphasized more directly.
Paragraph Structuring
Use paragraphs to group related ideas for better organization and readability. The shift from offering help to your qualifications, to scheduling, and then to safety measures could be more clearly demarcated.
Structure your letter
A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:
- A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
- The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
- A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)
When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.
All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.