Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is true that crime is an indispensable factor in a society that can not be deterred. Many people believe that criminals are formed by their original bad personalities,

whereas

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I am of the opinion that it is a result of social issues and lack of money. On the one hand, the idea of ascribing offenders to their natural intention of bad behaviours is attractive because it has many cases all over the world.

This

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is because some people are born with distinct thoughts that can make them have a higher proportion of committing a crime, and their characteristics can be violence-oriented.

For example

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, there was a man in Japan who had a creepy hobby which was turning normal women into dolls for his collection and

then

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faced imprisonment.

Consequently

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, if no one can cure or realize their mental illness from the initial stages, it will result in dire situations.

Nevertheless

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, I believe that lawbreakers are an outcome of socioeconomic factors.

Firstly

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, poverty can undermine one person’s personality traits, gradually transferring from kindhearted to irrespective of other people’s pains to cause crime, it is

due to

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the deprivation of prosperity.

Furthermore

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, those whose environment is full of social problems can raise their intention of illegal behaviour as it is easy to engage in criminal activities. To illustrate, kids who grow up in a neighbourhood where drugs and robberies are prevalent can affect their mindset to think there is a norm. In conclusion,

while

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there is lots of evidence regarding both views, I still believe that the environment is a more decisive factor

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in causing offenders because of imitation and

changing

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changes

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in perspective. It can be predicted that parents should shape their kids from a young age, and inform them not to associate with incarceration.

nguyetcat.daoMon Mar 11 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Try to structure your essay more clearly by having distinct opening, supporting, and concluding paragraphs. Each paragraph should serve a clear purpose.

Coherence & Cohesion

Start by stating what both sides of the argument are, then present each view in separate paragraphs, and conclude with your own opinion. Your introduction and conclusion should clearly reflect the main points of your essay.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with detailed examples or reasons. While you provided some examples, more specificity and detail will strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas further to provide a more complete response to the task. Aim to explore each point of view in more depth, including your own opinion, to fulfill the task requirements fully.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work. Schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extend do you agree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these langugages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinions

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.