Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is true that crime is an indispensable factor in a society that can not be deterred. Many people believe that criminals are formed by their original bad personalities,
whereas
I am of the opinion that it is a result of social issues and lack of money.
On the one hand, the idea of ascribing offenders to their natural intention of bad behaviours is attractive because it has many cases all over the world. This
is because some people are born with distinct thoughts that can make them have a higher proportion of committing a crime, and their characteristics can be violence-oriented. For example
, there was a man in Japan who had a creepy hobby which was turning normal women into dolls for his collection and then
faced imprisonment. Consequently
, if no one can cure or realize their mental illness from the initial stages, it will result in dire situations.
Nevertheless
, I believe that lawbreakers are an outcome of socioeconomic factors. Firstly
, poverty can undermine one person’s personality traits, gradually transferring from kindhearted to irrespective of other people’s pains to cause crime, it is due to
the deprivation of prosperity. Furthermore
, those whose environment is full of social problems can raise their intention of illegal behaviour as it is easy to engage in criminal activities. To illustrate, kids who grow up in a neighbourhood where drugs and robberies are prevalent can affect their mindset to think there is a norm.
In conclusion, while
there is lots of evidence regarding both views, I still believe that the environment is a more decisive factor to
in causing offenders because of imitation and Change preposition
apply
changing
in perspective. It can be predicted that parents should shape their kids from a young age, and inform them not to associate with incarceration.Change the form of the verb
changes
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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to structure your essay more clearly by having distinct opening, supporting, and concluding paragraphs. Each paragraph should serve a clear purpose.
Coherence & Cohesion
Start by stating what both sides of the argument are, then present each view in separate paragraphs, and conclude with your own opinion. Your introduction and conclusion should clearly reflect the main points of your essay.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with detailed examples or reasons. While you provided some examples, more specificity and detail will strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further to provide a more complete response to the task. Aim to explore each point of view in more depth, including your own opinion, to fulfill the task requirements fully.