A section of the society holds the belief that content telecasted by various channels offers no actual benetits for the younger audiences.
A section of
the
society holds the belief that Correct article usage
apply
content
telecasted by various channels offers no actual benetits
for Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
the
younger audiences. In my conviction Correct article usage
apply
adult
content
on TV may have negative psychological effects on children
whereas
, by watching educational programmes
, they can gain knowledge Therefore
, I wish to partially agree with the captioned statement.
To begin
with, watching age-inappropriate material on television
may negatively impact mental
health and stability of Correct article usage
the mental
voung
viewers. In my opinion, Correct your spelling
young
children
have the tendency to imitate adult
behavior withoutquestioning
the morality of Correct your spelling
without questioning
such
actions. When they are exposed to negative adult
conduct on television
such
as violence, substance use and bad language, they may follow such
actions, and as a
result
they Add a comma
result,
mav
inculcate substandard Correct your spelling
may
behavior
as well. To illustrate Change the spelling
behaviour
this
, accordina
to an article which appeared Correct your spelling
according
on
Change preposition
in
New
York Times in December 2023, it was revealed that 68% of underaged crimes in the US have been Correct article usage
the New
conducted
by teens, who were influenced by violent Verb problem
committed
content
such
as WWE on television
. Hence
, it is evident that adult
material on Specific example television
may nave
a dement Correct your spelling
have
erect
on minors.
Correct your spelling
effect
On the other hand
, by viewing educational content
such
as documentaries, quizzes and news programmes
, children
may enhance curricular and general knowledge. According to
my observations, IV can deliver Correct article usage
an impactrul
impactrul
audio-visual experience, which Correct your spelling
impactful
maybe
used as an effective learning aid to educate Correct your spelling
may be
the
youngsters. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, some
countries TV is used as an educational tool Change preposition
in some
tamprove
their language and vocabulary and Correct your spelling
to improve
also
develop their skills and logical thinking. For example
, during the Covid lockdown in 2020, when children
were confined fo
their homes. the national Correct your spelling
to
television
in I Sri Lanka, telecasted programmes
to support them in their GCE test
preparation. Thus
, I sincerely believe that television
can be used effectively to educate the younger generation.
In conclusion, children
who tend to imitate negative adult
actions on TV may inculcate immoral
and substandard behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
In contrast
, the young viewers who are encouraged to watch
educational programmes
may improve their knowledge and all-round skills. As such
, this
writer
Is In partlal
agreement with the notion that Correct your spelling
partial
television
programmes
are of no real value for
children
.Submitted by dinaka0001 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but the logical coherence between paragraphs could be improved by better use of linking words and phrases. Try to use a wider range of connectives (e.g., Furthermore, Consequently, In addition to) to make your argument flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed. Try to start your essay with a more engaging hook and end with a stronger, more comprehensive summary of your points and stance.
coherence cohesion
While you have supported your main points with examples, working on making your examples more specific and directly related to your argument would strengthen your essay. Aim for clear, concrete examples that directly support your thesis.
task achievement
You have responded to the prompt capably, but there's room for deeper exploration of your ideas. A balanced discussion which contrasts different viewpoints or explores the implications of your arguments in greater detail can enhance your task achievement score.
task achievement
Clarifying and elaborating on your ideas can improve comprehensibility. Try to expand on your points with more detailed supporting arguments and explanations to ensure your ideas are fully developed and easily understood by the reader.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be more specific, and detailed. Providing real-life instances with clear outcomes can improve the strength and specificity of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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