television sporting show such as olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much .DO YOU AGREE or disagree ? include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion?

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In the ultra epoch ,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
so they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not much time to do exercise.
However
, it is an argued issue
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
weather
folks are
motivating
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
to watch
games
on the
television
or not.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even
,
some
Correct word choice
though some
show examples
people
say that
those lazy person
Change the determiner
that lazy person
those lazy people
show examples
who
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
intrent
Correct your spelling
interested
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise and they
also
not
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
to watch live
games
on the screen,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
totally
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with the above notion. To embark on, the most prominent reason why
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
are strongly
motivating
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
to watch
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
on
screen
Add an article
the screen
a screen
show examples
.
Television
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good way to
infulance
Correct your spelling
influence
some masses to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. Nowadays,mostly young generation
are indulge
Change the verb form
indulges
show examples
in watching mobile,
video
Correct word choice
and video
show examples
games
so they become lazy and do not do outdoor activities:
despite of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
if teenagers
moniter
Correct your spelling
monitor
a player who
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
well ,they will
tryto
Correct your spelling
try to
become them.To illustrate,provided that some watch a cricket player
name
Replace the word
named
show examples
,M.S. Dhoni ;they will want to become
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him because he is the best captain of the team
Change preposition
in india
show examples
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
.
Hence
,they motivate by the
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
assist
of
television
. Another worth considering ,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
decade, the craze of
body building
Correct your spelling
bodybuilding
show examples
is increasing day by day since
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
by
bodybuilders's
Remove the s
bodybuilders'
show examples
body cutting
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
folks
are watch
Change the verb form
are watching
show examples
the bodu building
compition
Correct your spelling
competitions
on the
television
and they want to become a body
builder
Fix the agreement mistake
builders
show examples
then
they start
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
. To exemplify ,
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
yearonline
Correct your spelling
online
survey,gym going person increase every month near about 3-5
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
Therefore
,
people
are more aware towards their health. In calculation,
Although
people
think that
television
is a good source to motivate
those person
Change the determiner
that person
those people
show examples
who
are not interest
Change the verb form
are not interested
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outdoor activities, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
people
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
only
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
by
television
but
also
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should motivate
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves to improve their health.
Submitted by harmanjotdhindsa on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that further explain or provide evidence for the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Increase the use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
General Advice
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Minor errors can distract the reader and detract from the overall quality of your writing.
General Advice
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. This enhances the quality of your writing and demonstrates your language skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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