IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

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In recent years,
due to
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 the availability of improved transportation,
people
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 often migrate from rural
areas
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban
areas
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as a result
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 the population in the village is declining.In my opinion,
people
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 moving to the
cities
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 have more negative improvement than positive development. One of the main reasons that
people
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 move from villages to
cities
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 is to find better job opportunities,
this
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 is mainly because of the income that they get.
For example
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, a person in the village has less exposure to the extent of jobs available in the
cites
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cities
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, they often work in farm fields doing jobs that involve high energy but less pay.
In contrast
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, moving to
cities
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 helps them find easier jobs for higher salaries.They
also
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 have other facilities like transportation and
availability
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the availability
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 of improved technologies.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 moving to
cities
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 might create a detrimental effect on the villages’ economy
as a consequence
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 of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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people
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 available to work in the fields there will be
decline
Add an article
a decline
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 in
the
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apply
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agriculture.
For instance
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, there would be a significant decline in fresh produce
such
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 as fruits ,vegetables, rice and so on.
This
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 will create a major problem for both the city and the village.
This
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 can be avoided if the government introduced new schemes and paid higher for the farmers.
As a result
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,
this
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 will make fewer
people
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 leave the rural
areas
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. In conclusion,
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Although
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apply
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there are more positives if
people
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 move to
cities
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 like greater job opportunities and improved facilities.It is very important to know about the consequences that
people
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 will face if they all leave agriculture and move to urban
areas
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, so
i
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I
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 strongly believe that
this
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 is more of a negative development.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking phrases to help the reader understand the relationship between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand on your examples to directly link them to the argument you're making. This not only strengthens your argument but also helps the reader see the practical implications of the issues you discuss.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly and remain focused on the question throughout. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to answering the question and elaborate on your ideas with clear, specific examples.
General Advice
Increase the complexity of your sentences to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures. However, ensure that clarity isn't sacrificed for complexity. Accurate, complex sentences can significantly boost your score.
General Advice
Check your work for any errors in spelling or grammar. While occasional slips are permissible, frequent errors can detract from the clarity of your argument and negatively impact your score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic opportunities
  • career prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exchange
  • economic stagnation
  • urban overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • natural habitats
  • migration
  • superior education and healthcare services
  • diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
  • local services
  • urban slums
  • pressure on infrastructure
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