In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.
In recent years,
due to
the availability of improved transportation, people
often migrate from rural areas
to the
urban Correct article usage
apply
areas
as a result
the population in the village is declining.In my opinion, people
moving to the cities
have more negative improvement than positive development.
One of the main reasons that people
move from villages to cities
is to find better job opportunities, this
is mainly because of the income that they get. For example
, a person in the village has less exposure to the extent of jobs available in the cites
, they often work in farm fields doing jobs that involve high energy but less pay. Correct your spelling
cities
In contrast
, moving to cities
helps them find easier jobs for higher salaries.They also
have other facilities like transportation and availability
of improved technologies.
Correct article usage
the availability
On the other hand
, people
moving to cities
might create a detrimental effect on the villages’ economy as a consequence
of less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
available to work in the fields there will be decline
in Add an article
a decline
the
agriculture. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, there would be a significant decline in fresh produce such
as fruits ,vegetables, rice and so on.This
will create a major problem for both the city and the village.This
can be avoided if the government introduced new schemes and paid higher for the farmers. As a result
, this
will make fewer people
leave the rural areas
.
In conclusion, Although
there are more positives if Correct word choice
apply
people
move to cities
like greater job opportunities and improved facilities.It is very important to know about the consequences that people
will face if they all leave agriculture and move to urban areas
, so i
strongly believe that Change the capitalization
I
this
is more of a negative development.Submitted by m.keerthanah on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Expand on your examples to directly link them to the argument you're making. This not only strengthens your argument but also helps the reader see the practical implications of the issues you discuss.
Task Achievement
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General Advice
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General Advice
Check your work for any errors in spelling or grammar. While occasional slips are permissible, frequent errors can detract from the clarity of your argument and negatively impact your score.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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