You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company's manager. In your letter: • give details of the celebration • explain the reason why you need time off • suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
letter to you to request. I am wondering if I could take a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
days off to meet my family and friends and
also
to celebrate my mother's birthday. It will be
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
special date for us.
This
birthday party will start on Friday evening and will
last
whole
Add an article
the whole
a whole
show examples
weekend. I am planning to leave work on Thursday, March 1st
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because I will have to prepare places like restaurants and
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
as we are planning to celebrate
mother's
Capitalize word
Mother's
show examples
birthday
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the city and
also
I want to visit my hometown because I have been there
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time. In
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two days
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
I will be away, I will
from
Add a missing verb
be from
show examples
home and inform my
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
about the work that they need to do and
also
I will check my email and answer my phone to assist them
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
they need . I really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
you could give me these days
of
Change preposition
off
show examples
because I really want to be with my family
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
special moment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life. Yours faithfully, Diana.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Introduction Clarity
Be clear and concise in your introduction and throughout your letter, ensuring each paragraph serves a unique purpose. Your opening lines should immediately inform the reader of your letter's purpose.
Paragraphing
Use paragraphing to separate different ideas, ensuring that each paragraph deals with a distinct aspect of your request. Your letter does a good job in this aspect but ensuring clarity in the purpose of each section could be improved.
Sentence Structure
Work on your sentence structure and vary your sentence lengths to improve readability and flow. Also, pay attention to grammar, particularly tense and preposition use.
Closing
Closing your letter appropriately is essential. Yours faithfully, is suitable for the tone of this letter, showing respect and formality.
Task Response
For task achievement, ensure you thoroughly explain the reason for your time off and suggest a clear strategy for managing your workload in your absence. You've done this, but being more precise about how your work will be covered could strengthen your request.
Vocabulary
Work on enhancing your letter with a more varied vocabulary and more precise language to improve the overall impact of your message. Using specific examples or more detailed descriptions can enhance clarity and engagement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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