IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on family life and society?

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Currently, many and many human beings
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
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 to bear infants later in their lives.
However
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, there are some reasons for
this
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 to
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
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,
such
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 as having
successful
Add an article
a successful
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 career path and
to avoid
Change the verb form
avoiding
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 financial
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
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to
Change preposition
for
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 their sons and daughters.
Therefore
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, I am going to urge other factors of delaying childbirth these days in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, one major reason to consider is
successful
Add an article
a successful
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 career path, parents are working long shifts for a long period of time until they
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 older and begin to
concieve
Correct your spelling
conceive
 children.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they want to have money and savings first rather than grafting
while
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 upholding youngsters.
Furthermore
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, both fathers and mothers,
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firstly
Change the word
first
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satisfied
Wrong verb form
satisfy
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 themselves
hence
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 they
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
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 for a family.An example to consider
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would be my relatives, my uncle and his wife worked for a long time until 40 years old without a child.
Thus
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,
this
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 can
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
 explain that in the modern world, humans
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 childbirth after they have their needs and wants.
Moreover
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, another factor for
late bearing
Add a hyphen
late-bearing
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 toddlers is to prevent financial problems in the long run when their teens
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
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 up.
Additionally
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,
this
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 is clearly shown when people save their paycheck salaries for their children to have a better life.An example to illustrate, adolescents demand cash for
tuitions
Fix the agreement mistake
tuition
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 holiday trips
as well as
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 for food and clothes.In the sense that, it is important to keep money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future use
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 struggling later on.
To conclude
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, more and more societies nowadays
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 to give birth to children when they are old,
this
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 is because they uphold themselves and afford to prevent financial burden in the near future.

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Task Achievement
Focus on providing a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question, specifying what will be discussed.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points directly relate to the question, and when providing reasons or effects, explicitly link them back to the topic of older parenthood.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs. This will help with the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph structure, ensuring that each paragraph contains one clear main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.
General
Mind your grammar and spelling to increase readability and make your argument more compelling. Frequent errors can distract from your message.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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