Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on family life and society?
Currently, many and many human beings
are prefer
to bear infants later in their lives.Change the verb form
prefer
However
, there are some reasons for this
to be happen
, Change the verb form
happen
such
as having successful
career path and Add an article
a successful
to avoid
financial Change the verb form
avoiding
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
to
their sons and daughters.Change preposition
for
Therefore
, I am going to urge other factors of delaying childbirth these days in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, one major reason to consider is successful
career path, parents are working long shifts for a long period of time until they Add an article
a successful
getting
older and begin to Wrong verb form
get
concieve
children.Correct your spelling
conceive
This
is because,
they want to have money and savings first rather than grafting Remove the comma
apply
while
upholding youngsters.Furthermore
, both fathers and mothers, firstly
Change the word
first
satisfied
themselves Wrong verb form
satisfy
hence
they preparing
for a family.An example to consider Wrong verb form
prepare
that
would be my relatives, my uncle and his wife worked for a long time until 40 years old without a child.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Thus
, this
can truely
explain that in the modern world, humans Correct your spelling
truly
preferred
childbirth after they have their needs and wants.
Wrong verb form
prefer
Moreover
, another factor for late bearing
toddlers is to prevent financial problems in the long run when their teens Add a hyphen
late-bearing
growing
up.Wrong verb form
grow
Additionally
, this
is clearly shown when people save their paycheck salaries for their children to have a better life.An example to illustrate, adolescents demand cash for tuitions
holiday trips Fix the agreement mistake
tuition
as well as
for food and clothes.In the sense that, it is important to keep money for the
future use Correct article usage
apply
than
struggling later on.
Rephrase
rather than
To conclude
, more and more societies nowadays are preferring
to give birth to children when they are old, Wrong verb form
prefer
this
is because they uphold themselves and afford to prevent financial burden in the near future.Submitted by cajaah93 on
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Task Achievement
Focus on providing a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question, specifying what will be discussed.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points directly relate to the question, and when providing reasons or effects, explicitly link them back to the topic of older parenthood.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs. This will help with the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph structure, ensuring that each paragraph contains one clear main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.
General
Mind your grammar and spelling to increase readability and make your argument more compelling. Frequent errors can distract from your message.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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