IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010
#proportion #energy #countries
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The bar chart compares the percentage of renewable
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 supplied
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 four different countries, namely
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
Use synonyms
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
,
Iceland
Use synonyms
,
Turkey
Correct word choice
and Turkey
show examples
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1997 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was clear that the proportion of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 used in
Iceland
Use synonyms
 was always the highest in almost three years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the consumption of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Iceland
Use synonyms
 increased continuously over the
period
Use synonyms
show
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1997, around 45% of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 by
Iceland
Use synonyms
 which was a lot
of
Change preposition
apply
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higher than that in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 only about 5%.
However
Linking Words
, renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in both
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Iceland
Use synonyms
 saw
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 growth
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 9% and 70 % respectively during the
period
Use synonyms
show
Wrong verb form
shown
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there was a
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 decrease in the percentage of using renewable
energy
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 in Australia from around 10% to under 5% at the same
period
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. The figure for Turkey began at around 38% in 1997, increasing to over 40% in 2000 and
finally
Linking Words
 hitting
low
Add an article
a low
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 of about 33%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, iceland, period, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • renewable energy
  • total energy supply
  • percentage
  • overall
  • changed
  • increases
  • decreases
  • fluctuating
  • trend
  • highest
  • lowest
  • significant
  • commitment
  • sustainability
  • environmental protection
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