IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In light of the increasing rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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juvenile delinquency, some individuals regard the education of good parenting
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as the best way to decrease
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 social phenomenon. I acknowledge that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 approach has its advantages, but there are other solutions that can yield better outcomes. There is no doubt that
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 play a crucial role in youth
growing
Replace the word
growth

The word growing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Teaching
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 good parenting
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can greatly improve their awareness of the importance of emphasizing adequate attention
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the mental and physical health of children. Good parenting
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 involve setting up the discipline, values, moral standards and judgement for young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Under the influence of their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, children will comply with those rules and become an integrity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Fix the agreement mistake
person

It seems that people may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we cannot ignore the fact that young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 spend a large proportion of time in school. School education is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a key factor
to help
Change preposition
in helping

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to erect
correct
Correct article usage
the correct

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes

It seems that attitude may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and long-term life
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans

It seems that plan may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, which will greatly decrease the likelihood of youth crime.
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 to
impart
Change the verb form
imparting

The verb impart may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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 theoretical knowledge, school education should pay sufficient attention
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 teaching practical
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and developing good study habits
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which helps them build their personal goals and dreams to pursue. The limitation of violent content on TV and the internet is necessary and essential because
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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teenagers are too young to establish their judgement. They will imitate the violent scene just for fun.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, those violent scenes at the same time stimulate young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s vision and auditory system, which in turn impacts their personality and character adversely.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Teaching
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 about good parenting
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is an effective method to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
juvenile delinquency, but other solutions are equally important.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic and a brief overview of your main points. Similarly, make your conclusion robust by summarising your arguments and reaffirming your position.
Specific Examples
Develop each main idea with specific examples or evidence. While you did mention general ideas, incorporating detailed examples will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphing to separate different ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., besides, moreover, subsequently) to link your ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs.
Task Response
Fully explore all parts of the task. While you did address the topic, expanding on how educating parents on parenting skills can specifically reduce youth crime can enhance task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • problematic behavior
  • adequately address
  • effective communication
  • supervision and guidance
  • positive activities
  • youth crime
  • parental skills
  • early signs
  • foster understanding
What to do next:
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