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Band 5

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#youth #crime #parents #skills
In light of the increasing rate of
the
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apply
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juvenile delinquency, some individuals regard the education of good parenting
skills
 to
parents
 as the best way to decrease
this
 social phenomenon. I acknowledge that
this
 approach has its advantages, but there are other solutions that can yield better outcomes. There is no doubt that
parents
 play a crucial role in youth
growing
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growth
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. Teaching
parents
 good parenting
skills
 can greatly improve their awareness of the importance of emphasizing adequate attention
on
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to
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 the mental and physical health of children. Good parenting
skills
 involve setting up the discipline, values, moral standards and judgement for young
people
. Under the influence of their
parents
, children will comply with those rules and become an integrity
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
.
On the other hand
, we cannot ignore the fact that young
people
 spend a large proportion of time in school. School education is
also
 a key factor
to help
Change preposition
in helping
show examples
 young
people
 to erect
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
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attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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 and long-term life
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
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, which will greatly decrease the likelihood of youth crime.
the
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In addition
 to
impart
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imparting
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 theoretical knowledge, school education should pay sufficient attention
on
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to
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 teaching practical
skills
 and developing good study habits
on
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for
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 young
people
, which helps them build their personal goals and dreams to pursue. The limitation of violent content on TV and the internet is necessary and essential because
the
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apply
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teenagers are too young to establish their judgement. They will imitate the violent scene just for fun.
Furthermore
, those violent scenes at the same time stimulate young
people
’s vision and auditory system, which in turn impacts their personality and character adversely.
Overall
, Teaching
parents
 about good parenting
skills
 is an effective method to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juvenile delinquency, but other solutions are equally important.
Submitted by 848033678 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic and a brief overview of your main points. Similarly, make your conclusion robust by summarising your arguments and reaffirming your position.
Specific Examples
Develop each main idea with specific examples or evidence. While you did mention general ideas, incorporating detailed examples will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphing to separate different ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., besides, moreover, subsequently) to link your ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs.
Task Response
Fully explore all parts of the task. While you did address the topic, expanding on how educating parents on parenting skills can specifically reduce youth crime can enhance task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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