IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the increasing use of the computers and the mobile phones has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills, TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to
Linking Words
 some,
teenagers
Use synonyms
' reading and writing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 has been reduced
due to
Linking Words
 daily usage of computers and mobile phones. Technology disruption causes many industries
move
Add the particle
to move
show examples
 from paper and pen to digital
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 we can not separate our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 nowadays.
Therefore
Linking Words
, It is agreed that these
phenomenons
Replace the word
phenomena
show examples
 have reduced young people's reading and writing skills. Digitalization makes administration easier than ever using gadgets.
For example
Linking Words
, a decade ago, registration for a bank account
is take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 hours or even days to finish but it only takes minutes nowadays.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, filling
Change preposition
out form
show examples
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 and
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferred by
teenagers
Use synonyms
 because it saves more time and convenience.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 digital era makes them
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
type using
keyboard
Correct article usage
the keyboard
show examples
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 write on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper. Social media
makes
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a new habit for young people to update their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis.
For instance
Linking Words
, when they wake up in the morning, the first thing they grab is their
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 to check their Instagram feed, stories, news, and any other form of notifications.
However
Linking Words
, the contents they read from
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 social media platforms are lighter and shorter compared to previous years ago when we used to read newspapers or books. In the end,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have been exposed
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
 digital
format contents
Fix the agreement mistake
formats content
show examples
 and it
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
 their reading skills badly.
To sum up
Linking Words
, for young people, reading and writing
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed to typing forms and skimming digital
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. These major
shift
Change the determiner
shifts
show examples
 have decreased
teenagers
Use synonyms
' skills to write and read.
However
Linking Words
,
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fast-changing
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 there will be many different ways to write and read in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical structuring of your argument by dividing your essay into distinct paragraphs, each with a unique idea or argument related to the topic. Aim for a balance between introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion for a coherent flow.
task achievement
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt, stating your position on the issue. Provide a brief outline of the points you will discuss.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. Vary your sentence beginnings and use more complex structures to add depth to your argument.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This could include citing studies, statistics, personal experiences, or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to the topic at hand. More specific examples enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly by using a variety of transition words and phrases. This enhances the readability and coherence of your essay and helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Revisit the topic prompt regularly as you write to ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed. Stay focused on the topic and continuously check that each paragraph contributes to answering the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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