IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Education used to be a short period of training, but today, people treat it like a lifelong practice. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #period #people #practice
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Learning is not a short-term work. It is a long life career. We learn not only from schools but
also
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 from everywhere we come and everyone we meet. Personally, I agree with the opinion that
education
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 is a lifelong practice.
Education
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 used to be a short period of training because of the poverty and the incompleteness of our
curriculumns
Correct your spelling
curriculums
curriculum
. In the past, our country faced
with
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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two wars
of protecting
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to protect
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 our independence from France and The US.
Therefore
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 rather
spending
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than spending
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 time studying, we have to
fighting
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fight
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 and
participating
Wrong verb form
participate
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 the production economics. Curriculumns
so
Correct word choice
apply
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that can not be designed to be a long period of training.
For example
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, we had to learn 10 lessons in chemistry to finish class 10 in that time rather than over 20 lessons as in current curriculums.
In addition
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, we should treat
education
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 as a lifelong practice, or lifelong habit. Learning is not only available in schools or universities
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 available in homes,
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
, in everywhere we can come and from everyone we meet.
By
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Through
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 the long term
of
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apply
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learning and
pacticing
Correct your spelling
practising
, we can reach the highest level of
education
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, which is crucial and fundamental for a brighter future.
To conclude
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, I agree that
education
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 should be a lifelong practice because of previous advantages.
Submitted by nghiangh on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position and briefly outlines your main arguments. This sets the stage for a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Further develop your main points with more detailed examples. Specific examples can illustrate your points more vividly and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Organise your essay more logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a clear topic sentence, and followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases that clearly show the relationship between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarise your arguments and restate your position. This strengthens the impact of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • continuous lifelong process
  • global economy
  • technological advancements
  • knowledge-based economies
  • continuous learning
  • skill upgrading
  • unprecedented access
  • mindset
  • traditional academic
  • vocational training
  • obsolete
  • retraining
  • competitive
  • personal development
  • professional growth
  • enrich one's life
  • broaden perspectives
  • engage actively
What to do next:
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