IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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A group of individuals present the view that it is natural to use
animals
Use synonyms
 for scientific
research
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human lives,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe it is not acceptable. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that it is necessary to do medical tests on new drugs. Animal testing can help to advance medical and scientific knowledge. In a comprehensive study,
research
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 findings at North Carolina State University from 2000 to 2010 confirm that many important medical discoveries involved experimentation on
animals
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. medical
research
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 using
animals
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 has led to numerous medical breakthroughs,
such
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 as vaccines and treatments for various diseases, which have significantly improved human health.
In addition
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, researchers aim to minimise the suffering that
animals
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 experience. A case in point is,
testing
Correct word choice
that testing
show examples
 for the cosmetics industry is now banned in many countries.
On the other hand
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, another group of people claim that the lives of
animals
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 should be respected. They insist that humans have no moral right to do experiments on
animals
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. They use zoos as an example and argue that zoo
animals
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 are kept in artificial environments. Since they are kept in cages or have limited space, they lose their freedom to hunt for food.
Besides
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,
animals
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 frequently suffer extreme pain
due to
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 biological and physical experiments or vaccine testing to curb some previously injected into their body.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as zoos allow scientists to study
animals
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 and their behaviour.
For instance
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, animal testing has led to many
discoveris
Correct your spelling
discoveries
such
Linking Words
 as Corona Virus vaccine.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my view, animal testing for
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 medical and scientific knowledge is necessary. medical
research
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 using
animals
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 has led to numerous medical breakthroughs.
Moreover
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, animal testing has resulted in
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many
discoveris
Correct your spelling
discoveries
such
Linking Words
 as Corona Virus vaccine.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs follow a logical sequence, with each supporting point clearly linking back to the central argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases in the conclusion; present your main points concisely and in a fresh way.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are strong. Your conclusion should not repeat points verbatim from the body paragraphs but rather summarize and reinforce them.
task achievement
Support each point with more specific examples and elaboration to add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Expand upon key points to ensure a comprehensive response to all aspects of the task question.
task achievement
Ensure that all main ideas are stated clearly and are fully developed to avoid any ambiguity.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views well and provides a clear opinion.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples, like the significant findings at North Carolina State University and the Corona Virus vaccine.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You present balanced arguments for both sides, which adds depth to your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical considerations
  • moral dilemma
  • animal rights
  • alternative methods
  • computer modeling
  • in-vitro testing
  • medical breakthroughs
  • vaccines
  • treatments
  • stringent regulations
  • minimization of suffering
  • humane treatment
  • scientific validity
  • biological similarity
  • applicable results
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